Time of The Year

For those who know me would actually know very well that I work only on the very last minute. It's quite a rare occasion that I get things done earlier, especially true if it involves money going out of my wallet. 

For those who are working, this is the time of the year when you fret the most, seeing your hard earned money getting wasted being sucked out as tax. See, I don't mind paying taxes if I knew that my money was put to good used. But instead, in this forsaken country, the money only gets squandered by the cronies of those in power and it rarely makes its way to for any good cause. Hence my unhappiness to pay taxes.

So anyways, I was talking with him (I so need to get him a public domain friendly name) earlier via whatsapp just checking on how his headache was subsiding after spending an afternoon with me. I wonder what impression he has on me know after having this for a conversation.

try to get some rest early if you can. you had a long day

you too had a long day. you should sleep earlier than me cause you slept late last night and need to travel tomorrow (so understanding - damn happy. he knew I got home close to five in the morning and only had very minimal sleep)

i got reserve energy..lolz. need to do my tax form, then sleep d

haha. you still haven't do ah? i remember that day i remind you like two weeks ago (brownie gone...)

no ler...i totally forgot about it until earlier when my friend ask. if i need to pay money ti the govt, i can easily forget...lolz

That just ended there, I wonder what's installed for me as there are certain things that I'm supposed to do and I have yet to do it and he has already asked me a few times. :(

This was still okay, I then met PurpleTurtle online and this is how it went

how you doing today rugrat?

reality hit.need to do my tax - dammit

hahaha.you get the form last week and haven't done anything?

where got last two weeks, the other day only what.

hahaha, no wonder you so stressed to finish it. just started to do it?

setting up the printer to print the form. hopefully my printer got ink. i never use it dunno how many years already..lolz

shit. you just gonna start PRINT it????????????

I'm so happy it was only question marks and not exclamation marks..LOLz

As I was filling the form after printing it, I got a call from my brother

where are you?

at home - doing my tax returns

you still haven't done it? you've been talking about it ever since

yea i know..and you have been dragging me out every night. where got time?

when is it due?

tomorrow

.... ( I so wished I had seen the look on his face - it would have a been epic)

It's finally done and I'm happy I can get some money in return. However, I'm still sad that I have to pay tax.

And, let's hope that next year would be a better year where I'll get my form done much earlier, though I doubt it. :)

Sex Spots

The other night, mOnkeybOy, PurpleTurtle (hah! you get this for calling me rugrat :P)and I were chatting on skype when I was sent a picture of the dining table bought. My first reaction upon seeing the table was like it looks sturdy and I went on with the owner your dining table nice lah, strong enough to have sex on it ah?? :P.  

That conversation took its course,but I then started thinking of the most boring places you can have have sex or as some people prefer the term, make love, at home. Here is my list of the most to the least boring place:

1. Bedroom - On the bed? Like seriously, I'd rather be sleeping.
2. Living Room - It's so yesterday. And the couch ain't the most comfortable place. Plus I'm not getting any          bodily fluids that leave a stain on it. I entertain too much at home.
3. Kitchen counter - This is acceptable fun. Imagination has a chance to go wild
4. Dining Table - mONnkeybOy, sex and food does assimilate well :P
5. Bathroom - Just make sure you have enough and proper petroleum based lubricants. Things can go really wild under hot water and a steamy shower room.

It's time for me to make my way to Hard Rock for a couple of drinks with some friends.

And on another note, when were out having dinner last night, there was this family dining on the table opposite. It was so nice to see the parents having dinner together with their son and his partner. But poor boy, he looked stressed trying to impress and not fuck things up in front of his partner's parents. A very nice sight nonetheless. And there was this so ever loud barbaric couple sitting on the next table that was just so loud and totally out of place. Morons!

Restaurants here should really look into NOT allowing certain quarters into their dining area like what MAS did by not allowing, was it kids or babies (?) into their first class cabin - the only good thing the airline has ever done, to ensure the rest of the guests get a decent stress free dinner with proper ambience. 

Tired..

Wednesday is finally over and I'm worn out already This week has been quite an uphill challenge since I had a test earlier. Preparing for the test brought out the worst in me. My brother witnessed my black face this morning after a very long time. My grandmother realized that I haven't change and would not take anything that I'm not happy with for an answer and my maid, got a piece of my mind for the first time. I guess it wasn't good to hold up so many things for such a long time. My friend too noticed I was on the verge of exploding when I had an argument with an asshole over a parking lot during lunch.

I'm just so glad that the paper is over now, I guess this is what inadequate preparation does to you. I do feel somewhat lucky though that my current manager allowed me to have the day off to study despite the fact than I'm less than a month old in my current company.

I was talking to him earlier and he'd too noticed the difference in my pre and post test. He said I sounded more relaxed after the paper. I never knew I was that transparent.

Anyways, I'm just relieved that the paper is over for now, at least I can have a good rest tonight and the weekend is closer. I've got a date with him for a movie on Friday and that's keeping me looking forward.

Had a fun chat with mOnkeybOy and this person who calls me Rugrat. I shall get him a name soon. I'm now officially Potato Head and Rugrat. What's with the nicks people? LOLz

I shall see if I can find me any of the Rugrat series to stream tomorrow. This brings back much from the memory lane. Those were the days. :)

Off to bed now...

First Date?

I got to know him exactly seven days ago through a social network site and it was a humble hi that broke the ice. It was just a normal conversation between two complete strangers yet somehow it had the flow that lasted for more than your average chat conversations, at least compared to my standards when  random people try to create a conversation with me. It was a very easy going and comfortable conversation that you had not need to think of your answers before replying.

Feeling comfortable, we exchanged contact numbers and the conversation kept flowing since. I honestly have no idea what we talk about all day.The conversations seem seamless somehow and him being the sleeping beauty he is, its never the last conversation I have each night however, I'm always greeted first thing in the morning by him when I switch on my phone. The simple message sent each morning feels so warm and sincere that it creates a fuzzy feeling. Maybe this is why I've been in a better mood off late...

Anyways, I finally met him for lunch today though we both live so close to each other and me being me when I'm hungry, I over order. It was a simple nice lunch of oyster noodles. It only hit me afterwards that it was the first time us meeting and I had actually nominated a coffee shop instead of a more ambient place. Like what an ass, but hey, good food matters more.

After lunch, we decided to walk around in the mall as I was complaining non stop about the heat. He wanted to get a T-shirt, but there wasn't any on his size. This guy is super tiny, just when I complained that I could not get proper fitting clothes as S was getting big, he is much more smaller compared to me. If I were to ever go shopping for him, the kids section would definitely be my first stop. And yea, his hair reminds me of the character from Dragon Ball Z whose name I can't remember...LOLz

Half way through walking, he asked me if I wanted to have a drink and we had some fruit juice while still walking around the mall. I so felt like a teenager on a first date once more. Hahaha

It also reminded me of why I hate Malaysia so much. For as long as we were hanging out, we were just getting so much stares from all the wankers that on many occasions that I felt like asking them what the fuck their problem was and also why I don't like going out to public places. Most people don't know how to fucking mind their own business. Assholes!

I had to drop him off later in the evening as he had some pre-planned activities for the evening. I had a really good time and after so long, I do feel happy from within. It was one of the most imperfectly perfect first dates, if this is called a date, that I've ever had.

I'm missing him as I rant this...

Desperation

Desperate times call for desperate measures

This semester has been going on a super charged mode, not from me sadly. The lecturers I got are super charged individuals, that they are throwing out assignments on a weekly basis. Having two papers with two assignments due each week is really taxing. I'm running at a stage where I'm only doing last minute work for my assignments as my work is pretty demanding as well and that I'm still in the adaptation phase. Like today for example, I had to sit in for five meetings and chaired 3 of it. That is really demanding as all three were not inter related and I had to present things that were almost alien to me. I guess this is the price you pay for being a dare devil.

Anyways, I'm supposed to have my mid term next week for both my papers. It was just driving me crazy seeing my schedule as I'd be travelling and that I have more assignments to complete and also prepare for two papers. One isn't as bad compared to the other as I've got a pretty decent statistics background. But after looking at the craziness that installed for me I told myself that the only way I can sustain myself is if I could successfully convince my lecturer to postpone the test for one of the subjects as that would give me some breathing space. 

And that is exactly what I did. I got myself some time now as I managed to talk him into delaying by a couple of weeks. 

Short term goal - success. 

Shorter term goal - in progress. I should get back to completing my assignment which I'm still clueless since yesterday. 

Grrrr....

Rejection

The fear of being rejected is something that no one can deny. I know many who dare not even confess their feelings for someone just because of the fear of being rejected. But what I don't get is, though understandable, why are people afraid of getting things out in the open and moving on?

It's fine to be down for a while when you get rejected by someone that you have some kind of feelings for, but if the other person doesn't feel the same way - so be it. It's his loss that he has missed such a great opportunity to not be able to feel and return your love, it is never yours.

Pick up the pieces and move on. 

I do not deny but I'm also guilty here. When things didn't work out between Jace and me, I secluded and isolated myself for a very long time being away from any sort of relationship. I used to be colder than ice to anyone, especially if I knew the person had some kind of feelings for me. 

But why did I do it? I don't know. 

Now that I think back, I just feel so stupid as I may have miss some great guys that came along the way.

I'm getting out of my freezer, going out there and waltzing into someone's life as all my achievement thus far is meaningless if I don't have anyone to share it with.

After all, if I were to find the right person easily, I would not appreciate him when I do finally meet him. It has to be a search after many obstacles as only then I'd truly value his presence. This is human nature, anything easily obtained is never appreciated.

Mid-term Break

This week was my mid term break and my plan was to seize the opportunity to start studying after completing my assignments as the mid term tests are around the corner and that my current job is pretty demanding, in terms of travelling hours. It's Sunday today and I have not had a chance to do anything. The week is gone, my work hasn't started and I've got much ahead of me. 

I'd be in Hong Kong the coming weekend to sort something out and the next week would be my mid term tests. It also spells due dates for even more assignments and I still can't get hold of one of the textbooks required. 

I see dooms day heading for me faster than the speed of light. I'm so thankful that I did not sign up for three papers this semester else I'd sure as hell embrace to fail all papers. Even with two, I'm not sure if I could even pass. 

I need to pull my cap down and get serious as I've only got a few days to make a difference for myself else I for sure know I'd be regretting for a long time in the near future.

Washing Machine

This is a hard learned lesson, there are only certain things that you can throw into a washing machine and certain things should never go in.

Generally, things that are well accepted into a washing machine would be the dirty laundry where no one would have any issues with that being thrown in. 

During my teenage years, I used to throw my school shoes into the machine on weekends especially when no one was around, else I would definitely hear my mother scream her lungs out across the house. I got busted once and it took a lot of effort to convince her that it was okay and not anyway dangerous to have the machine do its job by washing the shoes. To my surprise back then, she accepted the idea and it was soon a legal activity to dump the shoes into the machine.

Fast forward fifteen years, with full freedom and flexibility to simply throw in anything that I wish into the machine, I've learned one lesson the hard way. A mobile and the machine are not best of buddies. 

I fucked my phone well and good the other day by not checking my pocket and have my jeans thrown into the machine and washed. When I realized, it was too late to salvage anything and my phone is history now. 

I do miss my BlackBerry as it allowed me to type an entire email while driving and none of the full touch screens can allow me to do it. And so, on a desperate attempt, I took the drowned phone to the service center to get it fixed. The dude in the service center just had the look on his face

Grrrr.....

Check Mate

Awesome Friday news - my ex manager, the prick, is under investigation. 

The shit he did about getting the deal he brags about has surfaced. All the money paid to the decision makers have surfaced and the whole thing is now being investigated. 

This together with my exit interview remarks for him is just music to my ears right now.

Karma is a bitch asshole. I did warn you didn't I that I'll fuck you well and proper in your own game. I kept my word. 

And now, I'm in the field of your foundations. My move was intentional, I'll make sure there are no opportunities that will arise for you in this field and that you burnt bridges with many, you're as good as fucked in your current too. Plus, that it was such a niche industry, the word will spread like wild fire and I'll make sure I'll do it as a favor for you if it doesn't. 

Perhaps, it's time for you to think about what you've done and be sorry about it. A word of advice, don't be such a wanker moving forward and use your fucking eyes to see what is happening. And yeah, respect - it's earned not demanded!

I'm going out and getting a bottle of MOET as this calls for a celebration!

Exactly My Point

did i not tell you so
good morning
oh yea...morning
what did you tell me yesterday?
about scheduled posts...
ah..how did you screw it?
when i wrote, i had mentally prepared to be dragged out by my brother for a drink. thanks to the tremor and the tsunami warning, not only did i not get my drink, but i ended up in the hospital with my grandmother and my brother took my keys fearing that i'd be crazy enough to go out and risk myself...
how's grandma?
she's fine, just under observation due to palpitation...but that's not the point. it's about writing for the future.
ok lah...you win..
thanks for the lunch later this afternoon...fuck! cops. call you back. a bus rammed into some house n there are cops.

I knew something of sort was bound to happen, never make predictions unless its well calculated and the risk factor is so little, almost negligible. 

Then again, even with a good confidence level, things can get screwed up. 

I'm glad nothing major happened after the quake yesterday and tsunami alert. I was napping when it happened and my grandmother woke me up. For a minute, dazed, I thought it was me and I only realized that it was a pretty bad tremor until one of her posters fell off the wall. In fact, I actually slept back after being woken up for the first time - so much for wanting to get my beauty sleep. I seriously have panda looking eyes now and no eye cream is helping.

After rushing my grandmother to the hospital due to the tremor and was being frantic as I so did not want to answer any questions to anyone about what had happened, I just quickly text-ed  a couple of close friends to make sure they or their families were safe. 

Shortly after, I was taken by surprise to receive a call from someone I never expected. It was nice to talk to him and the bugger has a very soothing and calming voice, which was much needed due to the drama at the A&E; reminded me of Jace though, they both have the similar way of talking with the same type of effect. 

Scheduled Post

Mid week break - awesome! I had no idea what the holiday was for, but a holiday is always a much needed day to pay for the accumulated sleep debt. The only debt that rises faster than the interest on your outstanding credit card bill. 

Apparently, Malaysia has a new king and the coronation is today, hence the holiday. I don't even know who was the last one and Ii'm not bothered to know who the current one is either. It makes no difference to my daily life in any way at all other that the additional public holiday which should have allowed me some extra sleep but instead, my friend called me out for breakfast. Don't you people ever get it, do not call me in the morning!

While eating we had the following conversation

you know the public holiday today is for what or not?

nope.. don't know, don't care..you just fucking spoilt my sleep. so, thanks for the breakfast

so, you really don't know...

nope

we have a new king, its the coronation today

what happened to the old one? evaporated?

idiot...they rotate every five years or so lah

oh really ah? eh, then if the king half way evaporates got any extra holiday or not??

not sure wor...maybe got lah

oh, so got 50-50 chance for a holiday lah...the new king young or old ah?

...

Anyways, after getting the snare from him on me being so ignorant which somehow now seems to ring a bell like someone else had a similar conversation with me a couple of nights ago, but I'm not sure, I went on to rant to him about how my brother has been dragging me off almost every night until three in the morning and I've to wake up at six to go to work. I now officially have panda eyes. Grrrr...

Also, I was bitching about how I have not been having enough time to rant out in my space and that I feel bottled up.

why don't you use scheduled posts feature

...

you can write up when you're free and schedule for it to be posted

=.='

were you not listening? I rant...how can I know today what is going to happen to me tomorrow?

oh...then too bad for you

... 

Whatever it is, I'm just happy for the extra day off and it gives me sometime to do my things and get my precious sleep.

And speaking of scheduled posts, this is on a schedule. I should be out enjoying wine with my brother and having the waiter try his luck one more time to pick me up, as this gets published.

Warming Up

This is serious shit - I've been told off late that I'm not as cold and mean as before towards many. In fact, most were surprised by how nice I was being with my extended family over my cousin's wedding reception. To be honest, I was surprised at myself for being nice to them ,and worse, I was not even having an ounce of alcohol in me to pass the blame over.

Today, I was being so nice to a bitch client at work. I don't know what is going wrong with me. I would never, under normal circumstances, be so nice to these people. Even my colleagues, who barely know me for more than a week have the wrong impression of me that I'm a very nice guy - a people's person. What the fuck?! Why am I sending out this message. 

This is just not correct. I am supposed to be the cold blooded heartless beast that doesn't give a rat's ass to anyone or anything. 

A string of people who don't know me have told me on my face this week that I'll make a very good boyfriend/husband and whomever I go out with is very lucky. Like seriously, what is wrong? Am I showing the act of kindness or has the world started revolving the wrong way. how could opening the door and closing it for someone or holding an umbrella make me a good person? The reason I don't want you to open or close my car door is because I'm afraid you'd bang it hard lah. And, why on earth would I let you carry an umbrella when you're shorter than me? Simple logic right?

Even the Mrs. called me earlier and after what felt like a forever conversation, he said that I'm a very nice person and that he's lucky to have known me. Arrgh...what's wrong with all these people. The Mayans prediction now somewhat feels to be coming true with either people are accepting the cold as warm or am I warming up. 

Dammit! I hate global warming.

Pleasant Surprise

I got a call from my sister earlier this afternoon saying that she wants to come over to my place for dinner. The call from her itself was a surprise as I don't normally expect to hear from her whenever she is back at my mother's place during the holidays. Glad, I told her okay and we'll do a take-in for dinner so we could spend more time at home and catch up. 

It was a good thing that I actually ran away from my grandmother's place yesterday to get some space from my brother who has been taking up all my time which has disabled me from ranting for such a long time that I've had so much pent up in me.

We were supposed to initially meet at my place at seven but since I was running late at work I told her to come later. That's when she told me that she wont be coming alone but instead with someone whom I'd for sure not want to miss seeing.

Sensing who would she be bringing, I hurried home after work to give my place a quick tidy up since I've not been home for almost three weeks now and knew that I have to order Domino's for dinner. 

Ordering was a bit of a drama as my coupons couldn't work and I had to call to their call center and we all know how things would normally end when calling call centers.

I ordered his favourite pepperoni pizza and drummets and was eagerly waiting for my sister calling me asking to    fetch her up from the security post. And, as I was expecting, her call came the same time the delivery guy called me to get him access to my unit as well for the delivery. And living in Penang, I no longer get plastic bags with almost everything I buy -not complaining though, despite the certain inconveniences- so there was no way I could take delivery of dinner of the lobby of my place, but instead had to walk the dude back to my unit and take delivery.

As I was going to the guard post to allow my sister to drive in, I saw my Bella again after a long while. Boy, did I miss her! She still look so subtly pretty yet aggressive when needed. 

The bigger joy came from seeing my Snoopster in the car. The look of anticipation and sheer innocence in his face got me tearing instantly. I miss my boo so much that no words can express how I felt when I saw him sitting in the front seat and looking out the window with the tilt of his head looking at me. The look on his face was indeed priceless.

After such a long period of time, I was again having dinner with him - feeding him, watching him sit on a seat and eat off a plate from the table and occasionally stealing something from my plate whenever I pretended to not look at him. Ice cream after dinner brought even more tears of joy to me as it reminded me of the days when I was still staying at my parents and how we'd use to dig into whatever ice cream that could be found at home in the middle of the night.

Shortly after a long dinner, my sister wanted to take leave else my mother would become a bitch about the whole thing. As all good things must come to an end, I had to say goodbye to my Snoopster and gave him a tight hug. 

There was so much I wanted to say to him and spend more time with him but I know it's something I would need to put in more effort to. There is so much in me that I want to express out now, but I just can't as I can't control the tears rolling. 

As I'm typing this, the only thing that is running in my head besides missing him is the number from Whitney Houston from the movie The Bodyguard entitled I Will Always Love you

Cruelty

I can't take this no more; today is the second day that I'm left at my happy place, but I can't do anything other than watch and imagine of all the potential fun that I could be having. This test is not warranted for me - its a test of patience and virtue.

I'm so tempted to just break free and run wild. Two fully days of admiring all the beauties and not being able to get close to them is so not fair. Tomorrow is another day. I should find someone that I can bribe to work my way in else I may just take my chances and prolly make the headlines tomorrow. Aaargh!

And I just got the quote to replace the tail lamps on my Suzi; that's another bomb. Time to make a few phone calls and take a drive down to KL...

Brain Fucked

Lack of sleep plus two nights of back to back of statistics and economics is just crazy. The information overload and trying to recall the elementary statistics that I studied a decade ago is crazy. The never ending assignments for my economics paper is really tying me down and the piling up of my statistics assignments is beginning to worry me. I need to allocate time to get this done and with my brother extending his stay simply equates to more nights being pulled out whilst adapting to a new work environment.

I'm so glad that it's mid term break next week; hoping that I'd find some time to complete all my pending task and also study for the upcoming mid term tests. The result from the first assignment was a majorly disappointing as not only was it last minute work but also since the bitch altered some of the answers. There is now some friction between me and my group-mate due to this. Working with women is so difficult! Grrrr.....

Adapting to the new work seems to be getting on pretty well thus far, I hope things remain the same if not better for a long period of time, or at least until I complete my studies for the moment.

Finally

All the drama is finally over, thankfully. I'm so exhausted from the all the pretending and fake smiles that I have to put throughout the week with all the extended family. I'm just so relieved that the wedding and the reception is over, it's a major sign of relief as I now hope to not see any of the faces that I don't want to see for a long time.

So much has happened over the last week and I've been so busy with so many unwanted events that by the end of the day, I'm just so tired to even rant that I simply fall asleep - never knew falling asleep could be that easy. 

I've gotten so much of alcohol in my blood stream that it feels being intoxicated 24/7. Thankfully I resigned my job so I wasn't much bothered about work and that helped keep my sanity in place for a bit as it was my only avenue to be away from everyone. Seeing all those unwanted faces daily, being dragged out by my brother almost every night til the wee hours is just too much to handle. The lack of sleep has gotten me a set of eye bags that I'm looking like a panda.

The reception last night was crazy, especially since I had to dress up formally and ended up looking like a monkey for a good six hours to the least. And to make matters worse, my stupid brother had to get stuck somewhere in Gurney and I had to search for him in the mall walking up and down while the idiot couldn't just stay idle in a spot. 

The only consolation for the night was the after party where I had two nice bottles of wine all for myself which I can't remember the brand now and some very interesting conversation with a couple of prominent figures who are like, twice my age. Gosh!

And, I realized that I'm unemployed when I woke up this morning and I somehow feel nice. Did some early afternoon shopping - got me a new phone as I somehow still had my previous one in my jeans and that went for a wash in the machine. Like how the fuck could I be so careless!

Having the house all for myself is something that I've been craving for as well since I've been pretty much stuck at my grandmother's house since my brother came down. It's time to enjoy the peace and continue watching my serial