Survivor

This is who I need to be today.
This is what I am today
This is how I will be today

Some hot chicks for a change, not bad! But, I still like me boys..haha

Blue, Almost Black Monday....

I just hate it when the first day of the week gets fucked. Worse, the first thing in the morning and some mofo spoils your day. The traffic, was just beyond comprehension today. I have no freaking idea why it was that badly jammed this morning. After making my way through the morons that decide to drive their cars like they've got corn cobs stuck in their pussies, I reach office one minute late and the guard pulls a fuss. Can you imagine, one fucking minute and I've to submit a late entry report. Like seriously, what the fuck?!

After that, my BB decides to beep non stop for a good thirty minutes with everyone trying to find me over the weekend to care for their nonsense. Seriously people, get a life, enjoy the weekend and do NOT work! I'd to spend a good hour reading all those messages, I've then have emails to entertain too. Don't you get it? I will not reply to your emails over the weekend as it's not my working day! I couldn't careless if your dying and need my blood. You're a colleague, not a friend. If you're my friend, then you'd know how to reach me!! So, whether is urgent or important, do not expect me to reply to your email as you should know your own job and how to do it diligently and not try push me to do it for you by marking either urgent or important. It doesn't work mate! Not at least with me. Sorry, but you've tried barking up the wrong tree.

And then there is the weather. Like how much more pathetic could it be? It rains for like five seconds and then the sun comes out. It's either you rain like there is no tomorrow or let the sun shine. Don't get me winding up and down my windows every ten minutes. It's annoying!

Another thing, if I tell you that I'm busy and have to focus on my work on hand, it means I do not have time to fucking entertain you and your stupid sob stories. Grow up, use your brains, they are there in your head for a reason. And the reason is not for you to bother others with your stupidity!

And now, I've to go meet someone who is so eager to convince me to join his political party. Dude, for the n-th time, I'm not interested in politics as I have no faith in all the politicians here. Most don't even fit to become the bad parasites in stomach when I've gotten diarrhea. But since you're a friend, I'll take you to an open discussion, but be warned, push and you'll get burned!

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Aargh!

Warehouse Sale

It' s Sunday already and waking up at almost twelve isn't very good if you want your weekend to last longer. I guess the drinking from last night knocked me off a little longer than I expected and now it feels like I wasted my Sunday. Aargh!
Anyways, I went over for a warehouse sale after lunch, hoping to pick up some good bargains, especially that I'm in need for some new shorts. And, when I reached the place, boy, was it packed with people. Finding a place to park was already bad, the heat from the sun, just made it worse.
After a while, I manage to find  a spot to squeeze my Suzi in and braved myself through the sun into the arena where the sale was being held. There was another wave of people and kids running around like little minions. Gosh, I hate misbehaved kids!
Anyways, after rounds of walking and walking, I did not manage to find anything that either suited my taste or my waist. So much for being a common size. But nevertheless, me being me, I still found some other things to buy and did spend quite some amount of money.
Warehouse sales are just not my thing as I normally end up buying more things than I need and spend more money than I should. But then again, shopping helps me play my part in contributing to the economy from shrinking and feel better, for a short stint. Haha!

Accidents Gone Wrong

I tried very hard to erase the sight I witnessed yesterday morning on the way to work, but it seems to have failed big time. Not only that it's stuck in my head, but it somehow refreshed other scenes witnessed before. This had affected my mood adversely today.

When I was around ten, I vividly remember returning home from the market with my mother and we witnessed an accident whereby a car driver knocked an old man. And the poor old man was lying dead on the road. I've worked very hard to suppress this image, but it relived today.

The other image that came into mind was a hit and run accident where the motorcycle rider was lying dead on the road, again. And this happened when I was thirteen. What a sight as his body looked like it had many broken bones.

The third image came to mind was another accident I witnessed when I was sixteen. This was when a school mate who was driving, illegally, was hit by an oil tanker and he was cramped in his tiny little car and died on the spot. That was by far the worst sight thus far.

What I witnessed yesterday was by far the worst. Thankfully I did not see it happening, else I may end up seeing a therapist for god knows how long. The accident witnessed yesterday somehow involved a few cars, a motorbike and a trailer, if not wrong as i saw it parked, along the motorway that I use daily to work. Now, I have to say that the Malaysian government would win any award out there for designing the most fucked-up roads! They never fail to design roads that are hazardous, coupled with below average drainage, messy signboards, and the list could go on. I mean, it doesn't take rocket science to build a safe road, just some common sense. But not to divert, I need this off my system badly. Anyways, what I saw shook me off. There was the body of the motorcyclist there lying, covered with the black plastic. Not so bad right, since I've witnessed many of such? What got me was, his head was in the helmet, severed from the body, laying about three feet away, and I swear I saw bits and pieces of flesh spattered on the road. It was FUCK! I was shaking even in my car and my hands were trembling for the rest of the drive until I reached my office. Now, that is bad. The image is still so vivid in my mind. RIP to the victim, whoever he may be.

I already had issues sleeping last night, and I woke up grumpy this morning. I had hoped that I've filled my quota after what I witnessed yesterday, but no. Today, I witnessed another accident. This time around, the motorcycle was underneath a car. Thankfully though, there wasn't any body in the vicinity.

I can't take this no more. It's been too much. I need a drink now to help me sleep tonight. 

I'm going to hit the local pub for a few drinks. Hopefully, there are no more accidents tonight.

Bak Kut Teh

It's Friday and the week has come to an end. For some reason, this week feels like it passed by extremely fast. I'm not too sure whether it was due to the holiday on Wednesday or I just had too many things to do with not enough of time.
A few of my friends decided that it was time for some catching up and sent me a pretty late invitation to join them for Bak Kut Teh. It was a tough choice to turn them down since I already had prior appointments. The pleasurable taste of food that is comforting was just too hard to resist. I had to make a few quick calls to reschedule the appointments to a later date; thankfully they weren't important.
And there I was, enjoying my own bowl of darkened clear broth will all the wonders of a comforting food sidelined with more yummy treats. The texture and the taste of the meat that literally melts in your mouth it just to die for. The sweet smelling and delightful taste of the broth somehow ignites your senses and makes you happier. All this make Bak Kut Teh in the list of very own comfort food. I'm a happy boy for now.



Not a bad start to a weekend, hope it gets better.

Jinx?

My Suzi has been covered with a thick layer of dust now, having not enough time to care for her  over the days. After 11 days of neglecting, I finally had some free time today to send her for a wash. Doesn't she look good in her shiny paint without dust, dirt and grime.
On another note, whenever I have her washed, it'll never fail to rain. Today however, it still hasn't rain and Penang is overly hot. I felt like fainting earlier this afternoon while I was going to a clients place and hoped that the car park would be just adjacent to the lobby entrance. For once, I actually wouldn't mind and in fact, am hoping for the skies to open up. It's now nine and there is still no signs of any rain. Is the jinx lifted?
Rain oh rain, where are you?!

Emotions

It's amazing how emotions can make a person feel being on top of the world, and then on the hand at the bottom of a pit. The human mind works in an amazing way to take full control of everything within ones body. The power of emotions.
Whenever I get the news of him coming down, I somewhat get excited and start counting the days of him coming. I just am so glad to have a friend come and visit me and spend time with me.
And then, as the days pass and it gets closer to him coming, I'll start getting worked up and tensed as he never fails to make my blood boil, so to say.
On the day of his arrival, I'll be just waiting for his phone call to say that he has reached my place, yet I'll be freaking out as time passes by knowing I'm going to have to put up with him and that it's THE DAY, the day he is coming.
He would never fail to get me on my nerves within the first five minutes of his arrival, and he does do a pretty good job to drive me to my limits. Somehow, when I'm almost there, I'll start relaxing by myself and tolerate him. His words, actions, whining,everything, they will all somehow get me on my paws without fail, every time.
Then comes the day where he has to leave, a tiny part of me will be glad that he is leaving as I can then go back to my cocoon and hibernate. But, a bigger part of me will be feeling very sad that he is leaving. This is when my emotions get screwed up and I get very sad. As much as I like the idea of him coming and spending time, I also dread the times when he is around, and then I start missing him the minute he leaves.
I guess this is what friendship is all about, accepting the flaws of a person and embracing the good times and miss them the minute they are not around you. He should be reaching KL anytime now, I'm going to wait for his call to just work me up once more as he never fails to irritate me when he calls too.
And yea, thanks for being just a great friend, I look forward to meeting you during Raya. It was sure great to have you around the last few days and I look forward to many more days of just chilling together.

Mid-Week Break

I am just so glad tomorrow is an observed public holiday for the company that I'm attached to. Though it has only been two working days into the week, I already feel exhausted. Not so much from work, but more due to things and people around me.
Since it's a Tuesday night and tomorrow requires no work, though highly doubted, it calls for a night out! Drinks anyone? Cheers!

Going Commando

It's been very long since I've done it. I do miss the feeling of freedom; not being held captive. The memory is still very vivid, remembering the good old Saturday mornings having my me time.
Waking up to a morning without an alarm clock breaking the silence of dawn, tossing and rolling on the bed before finally waking up. It'll normally follow suit with the daily morning mantra of having a glass of plain water, then a quick smoke before brushing my teeth followed by the throne warming and a nice long shower. The best part about the weekend is the need to not bother shaving.
I'd then put on a comfortable fit T-shirt and some loose pants without any underwear, pull on a baseball cap and head to my favorite Starbucks joint. Slowly sipping a nice vanilla latte with a worthy magazine would just take a few good hours of the late morning or until the battery on the mp3 player runs flat. And yes, these were the days before Apple made an impact, and yes, I still do not own any Apply products though the temptation is almost sky high.
After enjoying the breezy morning sipping away my coffee, I'd then choose to just take a stroll along the beach. The loose pants with nothing underneath and the breeze from all the casurina trees was just the best feeling ever. The feeling of complete freedom from no hugging briefs was just so comfortable and the air ventilation was a perfect match.  Sitting by my favorite spot on the sand, hugging my knees and just let time pass by for a long time was simply the best moments in time.
Though I was never sure whether it was just letting the world pass by or the complete sense of freedom from going commando was better, but it was still the perfect match nonetheless.
Boy, I miss those days. I guess i know what I'm going to do this Saturday morning. Wouldn't mind a partner though. Haha!

Tired

My Sunday was officially dedicated to the most basic chore of cleaning up my house. Sweeping, dusting, wiping, mopping and polishing - all in a days work and the outcome? Satisfaction!
I am just so proud of myself that I managed to spend an entire day without any distraction cleaning up my house and it really feels so good to simply walk barefooted.
Plus, I can proudly show my clean and tidy house to my friend once he comes over and stays over. I'm happy that this friend is coming and willing to spend time with me, I really like him and I hope we could be more than friends, but that's merely wishful thinking. But hey, any hope is better than none, right?

Nice Time

Saturday the 13th, it was a long ago planned event that was something that I've been looking forward. A day to spend time with my friends by the beach and catch up. The simpler things in life that brings about much more satisfaction than engaging in technology and creating distance.
This is our 2nd annual event, and I'm glad with the outcome, the same people, the same nonsense, more fun and a closer bonding. It was truly a great afternoon enjoying some prepared picnic food and enjoying cans of cold beer. Catching up and sharing simple daily life stories, the challenges and work, teasing each other and cooking up a whole pot of crap. Simply a retreat.
At times, I wonder how we have all evolved so much with the advancement of technology and forgotten the simpler yet more meaningful activities in life. The existence of IM has no doubt made communication so much easier and cheaper, but it still is nowhere close to the real thing, where you actually meet up and spend time with your friends or family, for that matter. Through the instant communicators and social networking websites, we do get quick updates about people who are within our network, but seriously, when was the last time you called any of the few hundreds friends and had a simple chat with them? Am I old fashioned? Maybe, but I still find nothing comes close to flesh and blood.
Thanks guys for making this day! XOXO

Woohoo!

I'm just so relieved it's a Friday today. What an eventful week, from non stop meetings to presentations to new reporting managers to a flat battery morning. Boy, there is just so much of crap that can be thrown upon you on one specific week.
The evening called for a nice steamboat dinner with a couple of ex-colleagues and catching up on how our lives have progressed and evolved over the last 12 months or so. I guess I'm just one those lucky ones who managed to find friends among colleagues. Somehow, the people whom you meet at work have their own motive and would only be interested to use you for their benefit.
Anyhow, the highlight of the day, or should I say the  week came from the university. My application for my Masters has been accepted and I've officially gotten and invitation to join the new semester. The best news for the week! Awesome!
Now, I've to find for a sponsor and have a job secured. Any sponsors?

Playing With Fire

It is not the first time I've done this. I've played this game many times before and have gotten burnt, yet I fail to learn. Why do I keep getting in this vicious circle. How stupid can I be? Or am I just a person who doesn't give up?
It all started with a simple email, a few chat lines over IM and before you know it, I know look forward and hope it's him everytime my phone beeps. I start my day with wanting to know he is fine. I need to end my day talking to him, else it feel incomplete. What have i gotten myself into? And I miss him everytime I don't hear from him.

You Gotta Be Kidding Me

Just last night, my Suzi was driving me well around town and getting everything done on the back from work. No signs whatsoever, everything just went on as normal as it could be.
And this morning, she just wouldn't start. A day when I need to get to work early, this has to happen to me.Arrrgh!!
Anyways, i'm lucky the insurance guys were pretty fast and got things sorted out quickly for me. That was a quick RM 250 fly, but my baby is back on wheels. Yippy!
And what makes it best, my Suzi now has Korean DNA in her too. My perfect love!

Title

I always had an issue choosing a title for what ever I write. Let me the essays during school or even e-mail while at work. Why do we need to always have a title for what is written, though I understand the logic behind it. But damn, it's just so hard to think of the appropriate title everytime!

Ramblings

I just read both my posts for Saturday and Sunday and realised that my writings were all over the place. The thoughts weren't synchronized at all and I was merely rambling both these days.
I reckon it was the pain from the back and the post stress effect that led me to being such a bitch. Hopefully things take a better turn.

Park Properly!

It is just so annoying that you never fail to stumble upon morons who simply do not know how to park in the designated parking lots! Aargh..how did this idiots ever passed their driving test?!
It's bad enough to face these morons at work parking and at the malls almost on a daily basis, but I've to get hit even more, as usual. Both my previous and current neighbour who live in the same property are dickheads when it comes to parking. They just can't park in their own lot and have to every time park half of their fucking tiny little cars in my lot. How stupid and inconsiderate is that? Thanks to these bitches, I've to park my Suzi outside the apartment complex by the side of the road, leaving her unguarded and prone to "rapist". What an injustice!

Pushing Tin

Two days of audit is finally over, took away my Thursday and Friday together with it. The only consolation was dinner and catching up with a couple of girl friends.
There is just so much that a person can take before being pushed to the brinks of insanity. And that's how I exactly felt on Thursday, after one audit was another and another one pending. The stress and tension was driving me nuts. The toll of all this made me have a restless night on Wednesday, and everything just got worse when I woke up with a sprained back on Thursday morning. The agonizing pain, and the mounting stress of the audit were just too much to handle. Nevertheless, I managed to handle it pretty well, masking the pain alongside that, and got good feedback from both the audits. Glad it's all over now and it's time to enjoy the weekend with the pain lingering from the sprained back.
This, was a real pushing tin for me. And speaking of pushing tin, I just remembered the 1999 comedy directed by Mike Newell staring John Cusak and Billy Bob Thornton. Maybe I should watch did comedy about the highly stressed air traffic controllers to have a laugh and forget my stress.

The Insecurities of Security

How often have taken  things for granted. Like our jobs being there as long we do our work. Or simply living until tomorrow. I, for one, have taken one too many things for granted off late. I guess it was just dealing with so many things thrown to me at one time.
Reality hit me today, and did it hit hard. Not only i was taken by surprise, the aftershocks were pretty damaging as well. A manager that I know was just released off today, without much of indications prior. It came as a big blow. To my knowledge, this guy is the sole bread winner in his household, has two kids and commitments. Gosh! What a news to receive at work, especially towards the weekend, or anytime for that matter.
Incidents like this, when witnessed first hand, somehow shakes you up a little and makes you rethink of your security as well. How we tend to oversee and slack off about the insecurity that co-exist within security itself. Time to reflect.

The Calling

Finally got the call I've been waiting for. The university contacted me and scheduled for an interview for my masters application, though only given a short notice for preparation.
The interview itself was not like what i expected, some of the job interviews were more demanding and stressful. Or maybe, I've grown so numb towards them that it means nothing to me anymore, other than a conversation with a stranger who never fails to ask me to describe myself. Like what the heck is that? Can't you be more creative and ask what you wish to know. It'll help me from being long winded and not bore the both of us with my sobbing life story! Get my drift?
Anyways, the interview went on for about 20 minutes, very short by my standards, and all I have to do now is just sit back, relax and wait for the call. The call of the acceptance that is.

Back

I'm back! I've neglected my expression space for over a month and I'm back. The last month was somewhat a roller-coaster ride with emotional highs and lows. Nevertheless, it was the month I worked the least thus far this year and I could safely say that it'll remain that way. India was the highlight of the month, and it was indeed incredible. Some other emotional lows took a blow at me. I missed my mother and J as both their birthdays fall in this month.Also, I got to know that HIS birthday is in July too; why am I a sucker to cancerians?
Anyways, we've been keeping tab on and off and it's pretty clear now that it could be maintained as friends. So it shall! I don't want to screw things up again and cry for a long time. A mistake once is a lesson.