Expectations

There is nothing that you do without having expectations out of it. Just as there is a reaction for every action. Whatever it may be, there is no exception out if it, so I would say and choose to believe.

Yes, I had expectations when I got to know him. All the time we spent, I was expecting him to get closer and warmer. I did not expect anything physical from him, but I did expect for him to get fonder and for us to get closer. The expectation that got wrong was expecting an 'us' between him and me. Was I expecting too much? I don't think so, based on what we shared. How could I have been expecting anything, it was something I should not have done. But then again, isn't expectations that drive us to do anything, short or long term. Someone close once told me when I was jolly well residing in my freezer, to warm up and have hope. I still like my freezer; where the only person concern is me, myself and I.

It's been two days now that I did not message him and I never got any from him. 

Yes, I am still silently expecting for a message from him. A simple hi would go a thousand miles, but reality is none came. It's time to grasp reality and move on. Something I so don't want at this point of time especially since my exams are around the corner. The semester has not failed to bring together all the ingredients for a perfect disaster. I have reached the point where I would be contended if I don't have to resit these papers.

My mind is made up, I'm heading back up north this Saturday and I will ask him out. Ask him out to put everything to an end and walk away without turning back.

Hopefully, there would be someone waiting at the end of the street to just give me a hug. Now, that is something I'm expecting for and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't happen. 

I just wished my late grandfather was still around. I could so use a conversation with him and I still miss him to date though he's departed since 2005. :'(