Monday 28 May 2012

Approved Cheating

A friend asked me over dinner earlier how was it going between him and me. For a very long moment, I was just in silence as I had no answer; rather didn't know how to answer. 
I mean, I am tired of the way he treats me at times. And then, there are times when he is really very nice towards me. The cold and warm treatment is really making it very difficult for me to move on or move forward. It sucks. 
He was all nice and concern and caring the other day when I wasn't well, and then he suddenly gets really cold and hurtful.

We were talking the other day when I just told him that there was this hottie at work and I asked if it was okay for me to lap him up. He was all okay about it telling me to go ahead since we weren't serious and all the usual blas. Later, he kept on harping about me wanting to hit on my office mate and about me going to market place to asses my market value. 
What is he up to? He for sure knows that I'm really into him at this point of time and that I don't normally cheat when I'm seeing someone. 
Am I being tested or is this his way of saying "get the fuck out of my life or since you're stupid enough to be around; I'd suck whatever I can from you while you're being dumb"
I don't like the mind games he is playing with me and I also found that he lied to me as well. He mentioned about having deactivated the applications on his mobile phone, but a friend found him to still be available there.

Should I take his words literally and that we're not exclusive, this would translate to me not being cheating on him if I were to hook up for a one night stand. I should go out more and look for quick fucks. The only problem now is my conscious. DAMMIT!

6 comments:

  1. well, trust is rare thing these days...

    just dono whom to trust anymore =(

    stay strong *hugs*

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    1. Yup, I couldn't trust anyone after my ex; and it's been totally sealed now.
      I will be good - thanks. *hugs*

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  2. If I were you, I would tell him what I feel about his treatment towards me and that if he doesn't want to move to a relationship stage with me, I'll back off and both walk separate ways. Simple as that because I don't like being hanged around waiting and wondering what's his next move or trick is. I also hate mind games. I will ask him if he's really interested in me and ready for a relationship with me or not, and if he is not ready or doesn't like me, it's fine. I will just move on rather than waiting endlessly without an answer.

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    1. long time..how are you?
      i have tried talking to him; he did tell me he needs time. but what pisses me most is the way i'm treated. i'm fine with the time required, but at least dont play with my feelings this way while. that isnt correct. to be honest, i dont see any effort from him, and thats hurtful

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    2. The truth is... when someone says he needs time is just an excuse. If he likes you, there's no more waiting needed, don't you think so? Just like you... you don't wait to like someone.

      Sorry to say this but I believe he's not really into you after all If not, he won't treat you hot and cold like that.

      I'm fine, doing good, enjoying the single life right now. Hahaha! Oh yeah, I'm going to Penang on June 1st.

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  3. i would need to disagree with you on that. i do think sometimes you need time just to be sure that its actually feelings and just not a crush or lust. And yes, i guess the time away has made me see things, finally. i do agree that i get stupid when i fall for someone.
    id be heading back to penang on the 1st as well.maybe we could catch up for coffee. drop me a line :)

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