I Should Have Known

At times, I really wonder why do I even bother  trying to be nice to anyone as it always comes back to bite me.  Maybe I'm a sucker after all.

Dear Uncle,

Thank you for your text message to me this morning, though I didn't appreciate my phone beeping at five in the morning, but it was still nice to receive a text from you; shows that you at least care - genuine or fake. As I was very much engrossed in my sleep, I decided to not read you message then.
See, I knew we have been keeping distance all these while, and both you and I know the reason very well - your wife. She does not like me and I do not like her, period. And since she controls you ( I do know about the abusive part as well) I'd rather keep my distance with you as it's better for both of us. I mean, I don't want to get involved in your happy marriage life.

I have to say, I was politely shocked earlier this month when you text-ed me for my birthday. I know that you can't call me as she (your wife) might peruse your phone bill and if my number were to appear in your statement, things wouldn't be as rosy for you. But anyways, thanks for the thoughts, it really meant something. You're at least better than your sister, which (I specifically choose which over whom which should be the correct way to address a person, but she deserves which) is my mother.

Driving you around last Sunday in Penang, was my social responsibility towards you. And besides, I was free so it didn't really bother me as much. I would have just been bumming at home anyways. And if my memory serves me well which it does, I have been this way all the time. I would lend a hand if I can, otherwise I'd just say so. I do not offer to help, if you need something from me, you ask. See, I'm not like others who suck up to people and be nice and later tell the entire world that they spent the entire day running errands for you. I hope you have noticed this, but I do not blame you if you haven't; many hasn't either. So, no worries there.

When I asked if you wanted to join me for a jog later that evening, it was pure courtesy. Honestly, I wasn't bothered if you were to follow me or not. It made no difference to me as I was going to go for my jog no matter what.

What I'm trying to let you know here is that I've never changed. I am who I am. I've been this person for ever. So, about your text message apologizing this morning, I don't see the reason for it. As I told you, I have nothing against you in particular but the only reason I distant myself from you is because of the bitch. Ooops..I mean your wife.

One thing you should know, I am not going to apologize to her or make the first move to try to talk to her. No way this is going to happen. Since she has been spreading rumors about me, it is only fair if she were to apologize and no, I not interested to be the bigger person. She has caused me enough of pain over the years for me to forget, let alone forgive. I do have vengeance you know. Most people can't stand it when I strike back, she is lucky that I have not done anything. And this is simply because you married her. But then again, if you didn't marry her, this wouldn't be an issue.

Your reply text message to me earlier is a clear testament that things will not change at all. Since we're both (your wife and I) stubborn people with too high ego and are at logger heads, I do not see this happening. Therefore, I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but your wish isn't going to come through. There will never be a reconciliation. And, you're wrong. I haven't change. I still am who I am.

About her being discipline with kids - screw it! If you want to enforce something on others, please make sure you're not in the wrong yourself first. Let me cite you an example. See, your wife is very rude herself to her mother-in law (i.e. your mother and my grandmother) and also to her late father-in-law (i.e. your late father and my late grandfather). As you may have very well known, I very much grew up with my grandparents and I would not tolerate anyone mocking or talking ill about them. And your wife is very much guilty here. So yea, the next time she talks about discipline, go ask her to look in the mirror. It doesn't lie.

Do you see my point here? If you need specific instances about my claim, please feel free to call me for a coffee talk. Anyways, much have been said for now. And next time, don't bother texting me. It will not change anything. I fully understand that you need to stand by your wife, but at the same time, please do not put the blame on me. I would very much appreciate if you could defend your nephew once in a while and say what is correct rather than what is right.

Lots of love,
Your Nephew

I'd so love to post this to his house and hope that the bitch reads it...Ah, what a bastard I am.

Drinking Spree

I've been on a drinking spree since last week. It has been a string of belated birthday celebrations, work stress, annoying team members,festive moods, old friends in town, friends moving, welcome back parties and whatever else that can be thought of reasons to drink.
Night after night of drinking which lasts through the wee hours of the morning with lots of fun and absolute craziness with all the nonsense's and bitching going about, it was only time before it hit me with a BANG!
And BANG did it hit me today. I met up with an ex colleague and another friend this evening for a drink. Three blokes and twenty pints isn't a good mathematical equation, especially if it's downed in a couple of hours. My head feels like it's going to split open right now.
I want my ice cream now and just sleep in for the rest of the day. And the spree shall continue tomorrow and last through the weekend, I hope not!

Bloody Tuesday

Catastrophe! I'm so full of drama at times. But hey, the sight of blood makes my legs go jello, so this calls for paramedics to arrive at supersonic speeds to my bath.

This is how I got fucked this morning, thank god I did not faint! As I was shaving this morning, I don't know how I applied more than usual pressure and got a razor cut - and fuck, I was bleeding! So many precious drops of my pure untainted blood dripped down. It was a such a crime scene! If only I could sue Gillette like what happened to McDonald's in the US for not stating that the contents of its cup was hot - lolz.

And to make matters worse, I could not even find my after shave nearby or even for the butter scotch razor cut tapes. It was so crappy that I had to wash off the blood, withstand the sting under water and pat dry before reaching out to my moisturizer. Oh boy, what a morning :(

 Well, I did not bleed as much compared to this, but I still did bleed...

Optical Illusion

I'm exactly seven days late on this. I wanted to post this last Monday, but I was just so freaking busy with my presentation that I had no time at all.

This is especially dedicated to someone, I'm not sure if you'd like me to post your name, but I know you know i'm referring to you :)

Ok, that was a complicated sentence...lolz

Have fun spotting the dolphins. *hint: there are seven of them*

Happy belated Birthday dude! Hope you had a blast

Lost Morning

I never knew how tired I was, but I did know that I was overworked the entire week. I managed to sleep in at about one last night or this morning, however you'd like it classified and I only woke up at three in the evening today.

That's not the longest I've slept as I've slept through an entire day before. But to wake up in the early evening, that's really a strange feeling. Anyways, I had to catch up with the lost time running errands and getting things sorted.

I'm also thinking of going on a short holiday the next week just to get some balance back in me. Taking a day off from studies today and spend some time doing totally random surfing today. The jog earlier was a little tiring. It's soon back to Monday and it's KL once again - sucks!

2hrs 45mins

I went down to KL and came back today with a friend just to have lunch with another friend - Awesome!

Well actually, that was that happened, but the objective of the trip was something else all together. My friend,KF, is looking at replacing his SLK and we drove down all the way to KL just to look at the replacement car he is getting. When we were there, we realized that an old friends house was just on the opposite side of the road and decided to drop in - such good friends right? :P

Anyways, since we took my tiny little Suzi, I managed to set myself a new time for reaching KL, toll to toll of course, in two hours and forty five minutes! It was sure fun to have all the adrenaline pumping through the journey until the damn cop appeared.

Got busted for speeding - darn! And the bastard had the cheek to say that I was caught on camera and there is a way to delete the the capture - RM 50.00. I was like what the fuck?! What ever happened to the zero bribery campaign and shit. Oh well, this is Malaysia. But heck, RM 50 is sure the easier way.

It's been a very long day, had only three hours of sleep last night as there was an emergency, cancelled all my party plans. It's now time to call it a day and run errands tomorrow.

The Fall

If I were to bank in on luck, I'm for sure screwed. Today was a disaster!

I was so dizzy upon waking up that I could barely get off my bed. I felt like everything around me was spinning so hard in a centrifuge. Crap! Not a good sign.

Since I could not get up, I told myself that I'll catch some much deserved rest and work from home. Less stress, no one will interrupt in the office. Boy, was I wrong. My phone started ringing sharp at 9 none stop. Why must there be so many issues to solve on a day when my deadlines are to be met and I'm falling down like the Roman empire. Basically, I spent the entire morning hours solving issues upon issues. And, when I finally thought it's all done, my IM starts blinking. My course mate was finding me to help draft a politically correct email to be sent out.

After helping her sort that, it was already passed midday and I haven't started working on anything that has today as the due date. The rest of the afternoon was spent on the telephone negotiating with almost everyone while replying emails and also working on projects. Somehow, after all the drama, I managed to complete everything and it was already half seven in the evening. So much for wanting a slightly relaxed day!

Tomorrow is going to be another hectic day but at least I know for a fact that I'm going to get myself knocked out after work with a couple of friends and lots of drinks. My phone is still beeping with incoming emails as I rant here :(

Time to get dinner, sit back and watch a movie for now. I really feel like I need a shout out and I better break this crazy routine before it gets worse. A fully sponsored holiday would be good too!

Drowning...

Having a full time job that has a choker on you 24/7 and studying part time is just the perfect recipe to be driven to the point of insanity.
It's already mid-week and I still have so much to do. I have so many dead lines and 24 hours a day doesn't seem enough. First, I had a group presentation on Monday evening. Despite informing all the team member to get things done early, everything was kept to the last minute. And whilst doing the compilation of the case study, I realized that almost everything wasn't relevant and most of the important facts were not included. Being someone who is almost a sore loser (I can't believe I'm admitting this), I just had to redo the entire case study on Monday itself, prepare the slides and emailed it to the lecturer. What I didn't anticipate was that some of the egoistic group members would get offended that I altered some of the information provided and corrected the spelling errors on the slides. Such bitches!
Since Monday was spent on last minute completion of my presentation and that I was worn out after class, Tuesday was a day to catch up on Monday's unfinished work. Sorting out work flows, negotiating agreements and working on proposal just drained me. I got exhausted by the time I got home that I did not even have the energy to sweat out. A strong mix of Bombay Sapphire and my bed was too hard to resist. I had to abandon my research online and dug into the comfort of my bed.
Waking up this morning for work was just so difficult. I had to drag myself out of bed to get ready for work. It was another day sorting things out with even more contract negotiations and process flows and costing to sort out. Everything with a deadline tomorrow. I was trying so hard to complete all my things that when I actually realized that I haven't had my lunch was at 7.00pm.
It's now time to continue researching for my next assignment and studying. I hope I can wake up tomorrow morning. It's going to be another hectic day followed by an even busier Friday. And no, the weekend hasn't started just yet for me as I've got to do a day trip to Kl on Saturday. Time to get busy :(

Friends

At times, I just sit and and wonder of all the people I've come across. I've spoken to more people than what's met the eye. I've gotten in and out of relationships, all the various kinds of relationships. I am a quiet person, which probably explains me not being out every night. My circle of friends are very limited. And when I say very, it really means very limited.
I do not call everyone I know as a friend, you have to impact me somewhat before you become my friend. Along the years, people have come and gone. Many passed by, only a few retained. At a point, when I was a teenager I started thinking if there was a problem within myself, but I just let it go. Not bothering much about it.
Today, I realized one thing. That the very few people I have within my circle, there are my true friends. We may not talk to each other daily, miss birthday wishes etc. But one thing is for sure, when you're down, there are there for you. Making time to listen to you rant silly, lend you a shoulder when you need to rest your head and wipe your tears when your eyes shed them.
I have been on near and distant holiday trips with my friends and they are some of the best times of my life. All the fun, silly jokes, laughter and running after planes whilst negotiating with cabbies to drive as fast they can so that you don't miss that connecting flight. All those are memories that I'll cherish forever.
What provoked me to think about all my friends and how glad I am to have them as my friends was an accident stumble upon a blog about someone who said he was lonely and always feels like he's an outsider. My message to you, don't try to fit it. Just be yourself and those who accept you are your true friends. You may not have met them yet, but you will soon. And those are the people who'd be close to your heart forever. Never seek approval to be a friend of someone, the friendship will just happen. There are many 'bastards & bitches' out there, but despite all that, there are as many, if not more nice people around. Just be tentative and you'd find your best friend in the least place you expect. They'd come in any shape, size and form. I know I can't be any happier to have my friends as my friends for there are the people I bonded voluntarily and not forced.
I love you all!

Blonde Moment?

'People who don't know you may know you better than people who know you' - this is what one of my friends told me some time ago. I never really figured it out. I was like what the heck? How can someone who doesn't know me know me while someone who knows me doesn't know me. Confusing right?

It still doesn't make much sense except for the fact that another friend of mine, an internet friend for almost three years now, told me the same thing. The only difference, he sent me an off-liner. I'm now waiting for him to get back online so I could ask him what the hell does it mean. Maybe I'm just having an extended blonde moment :(

And yea..I did miss my rantings, just been too busy off late and never really found the time to be faithful to myself.