It's Just Another Day

I woke up this morning to the annoying beeps of both my mobile phones. Suddenly, the people inhabiting this planet that I know realized that they've missed me, and therefore decided to spoil my beauty sleep so early in the morning. Lucky technology hasn't advanced to the level that we can easily communicate with others living in other planets, if there are any to begin with in the first place. 

Reading the annoying text messages half asleep is bad, but when it's a stupid forwarded message - the feeling is worse than being constipated. Like what the fuck is 'Happy 29th February'? 

Have we reach to such high levels of idiocracy that the additional day added into the calendar on a leap year is to be celebrated? What about the rest of the days of the year? Why can't those days be celebrated as well? This gets me to think how well marketeers have successfully gotten the dummies to fall for their trap - All the unwanted fuss about Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day and what not crap day. Why do you need special days to being thankful or celebrate your love to someone. Can't it be done on any other day? 

I still remember how confused I was when I was a kid as Mother's Day is celebrated in March in the UK while it is in May here in Malaysia. So, from the non-logical way of most human minds, mothers from the UK are to be celebrated on a specific day in March while those from most other parts of the world shall be appreciated two months later. Stupid? Not? I think it is utter lunacy.

Back to the 29th February, shut the fuck up and sleep lah people. If you have nothing better to do early in the morning, here's a thought - go move your fat asses and exercise or prepare a healthy breakfast to kick start your day. Do not send me useless text messages like Happy 29th February so early in the morning.

I remember reading a long time ago, don't quote me on this, that the earth actually requires 365.25 days to complete its orbit, hence the formation of a leap year once every four years with the additional day. 

Now imagine if the calendars were mark in such that the one-quarter of a day is incorporated to a certain month. We would probably have people celebrating 'Happy 6hours Day'. 

Or maybe, McDonald's would be giving out free quarter-pounders on that day. Now that doesn't sound too bad, does it?

Self Esteem

I was chatting with mOnkeybOy last night on MSN when it was acting up and he suggested that we chat on Skype instead. I said okay and we were chatting there instead. And as quite the usual, he fell a sleep mid way chatting, gosh-how boring I am, but he prolly was just too tired swinging on trees all day long :D

I'm so going to pay for it when, if, he reads this.

Anyways, as I was about to sign out, I got an IM from a long lost friend. It has been that long that I forgot about him as well. We were just chatting and he started sharing out a lot of stuff with me out of the blues. One thing I realized from the conversation is that this guy was running low on self esteem. This, low self esteem, is something I've since realized that is quite common amongst many nowadays. Or maybe from before, but I never took notice then.

Most tend to have low self esteem simply because they think they don't look good. So, how do you define looking good? What, when and where do you draw the line between beautiful and ugly? As far as I've known, beauty is always a subjective matter, hence the saying "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder".

It's so sad to see that many living in today's world are so materialistic and shallow. Why don't people see the inner beauty of someone rather than what appears on the outside. The looks you have can and will change. Aging is something that is unavoidable. Accidents could scar you too.

I know I said that physical attraction is important in my previous rant on the ideal partner. Just to be clear before I get quoted; what I meant by physical attraction is that you need to be attracted to a particular person, and it doesn't mean that if you're not attracted to that person then he/she is ugly.

So common, stop having such low self esteem just because someone is not attracted to you, or if you don't have a partner or drive a big car. 

Be proud of yourself. Whatever you have today is an achievement. Never feel belittled. 

And nothing is more beautiful than self confidence. You need to have it, and once you have that self confidence in you, everything will work out well. Self confidence is the key to most of your success. Anything that you undertake with the right amount of confidence will definitely be successful and I'll stand by that. 

If anything I've learned through the years is this besides the enjoyments of shopping but not paying the bill.

I just hope he is feeling better now. I don't like knowing people I know are not happy, it makes me sad.

Closure

If you were to play baseball, there is this thing called three strikes and you're out. I'm not that much of a sports person, unless sports is defined as spending a weekend sitting in front on the idiot box (more like screen nowadays) and catching up on a whole season of whatever series, so don't quote me on this. And this rant has nothing to do with sports.

For those who are close to me, you all knew that I was crazy enough to go to HCM for a weekend just to get drunk and party all night long. 

Then, a couple of weeks later, I flew all the way across to the west and spent some two weeks there doing things that wasn't in my initial plan. I never really talked much about my trip as I'd been pretty busy since I got back. 

And, since I had so much fun in HCM the last time I went there, I decided to stop by the city again on my way back from the UK and spend some hours enjoying myself. It was money well spent detouring there. 

There was this really cute Vietnamese guy sitting next to me in the plane; for the first time in many years of flying, I got and eye-candy material sitting next to me. No chance should be left wasted. That it was a twelve hour flight, I therefore had 720 minutes of possible fun time which I did capitalize on. 

Barely a five days since I got back, one of my friends from the gay city (though I prefer the term confused) down south, no pun intended, successfully convinced me to go there for the weekend next week. The reason used to convince me: I need a closure from my holiday spree, so I need another one to end it all. Like where the fuck did that come from? 

Anyways, since she played the card that we've not met for a long time and all the bla's associated with it, I just decided to give in and agreed to meet her next weekend.

I've spent so much money over the last two trips where England was most damaging. I can barely afford the third but I guess I'm going for broke here. Not to forget, my Suzi's insurance is due for renewal early next month and I have two more scheduled trips for the rest of the year and I'm trying to squeeze in the Monaco Grand Prix later this year as well. 

Damn, I wonder which travel bug bit me this time around as I'm travelling too much within a short span, I'm already running out of leave and March isn't here yet. Can I buy additional off days from my company??

Two or Threesome

I've to register for my papers as sem starts this week but I still can't make up my mind if I should sign up for two or three papers. Part of me tells me that I can juggle three papers, then is another part in me that is asking me to be more conservative as I'm planning to switch jobs very soon.

My concern is that while I'm trying to adjust to the new work environment, I may not be able to focus for my studies or if I put too much attention to my studies, I may not live up to expectations with the new job. 

If I only take two papers, then the duration of my course may have to be extended by another semester making it three and a half years in total - too long of a period to be doing one course. 

Three papers would allow me to complete it within three years and I can then start on my second masters so I would be on target for my post masters studies. 

All these options and making a decision is something I dislike, and being a Libra, it's a very typical trait to overly weigh the options and we really suck at making decisions. How nice would it be if someone out there could make the decision for me and I just bite the bullet. Life would be much easier.

I am also so thankful to my lecturer from my last sem for not failing for screwing up on the index number on my answer sheets. In fact, the results were above my expectations and I am wondering if he made a mistake with the marks...

On a totally different note, I've got my mid year performance review with my asshole of a manager. i so wish I could just show him both my middle fingers and walk out. Just the thought of seeing his face and talking to him is making me feel disgusted. I really want to have a countdown on my days in this organization and I can sense it to be very soon - that's a positive hope. :)

In Loving Memory

It has been exactly two years since you made me take this decision. It was one of the thoughest decisions I had to make and it certainly wasn't easy on me. I spent days and nights after in tears thinking about you. All the memories that we had together since I was still a pimple-faced teenager to graduating high school, then uni getting my proper first job, break-ups, parting away while I was posted in foreign land and the super weird Skype calls and the list could go on.

I still remember when I was learning to drive and I got you in the car and you were literally thrown all over the place, yet you never complained a bit but instead gave me a face fully coated with your saliva and a wagging tail. You also never rat on me whenever I used to sneak out of the house at night and come back just before the brink of dawn. And there was once when I was sixteen and got home so drunk and you didn't want to let me in the house simply because mother was awake waiting for me, instead you made me take you for a walk at four in the morning looking like a lunatic and I was practically throwing up all over the place. You only wanted to go back after what felt like ages later, but I got a clear access into my room as mother decided to give up waiting on me, I guess. I also won't forget that you'd never eat your meals until I got home and had taken mine. Your breakfast used to be whatever you could pull off my plate and while you're dinner would actually be half of what I have. 

I do also remember that once when I was suppose to take care of you when no one was around and that I totally forgot to feed you for a couple of days, yet you never complained at all. You were just so quiet and behaved like nothing was wrong, still being by my side all the time. 

And how you were there right next to me after my first break up. I was crying all night long and you were just there sitting by my side all the while and licking my face while looking deep into my eyes, sharing the pain I was going through. The nights you were awake just to keep me company while I was studying; I miss that now so much.

Also the time after my surgery when I couldn't walk and you used to be just next to me all the time by my bed and bark for attention if I was winching or trying to get something.

The thoughts of how you used to get between the water hose every time I washed my car and get us both wet is only memories now. Or how you'd get me drenched every time I gave you your weekly bath. The trips to the vet was always a major challenge as you'd somehow figure out and not sit quietly in the car but behaved like an angel when I got my driver's license and deiced to do a day trip from the north to the south of the peninsular and back.

All the years that we grew together from the time I decided to get a cut in my allowance and bring you home from the streets you were roaming in 'til the day I had to make the call will be the memories I'd always treasure. There is no one who can replace you for you are my only angel and sexy babe. The crazy idea of having a Valentine's dinner the last time you were around, it wasn't a goodbye or parting dinner; it was a sincere and genuine one as I knew it then that you were the special someone I wanted to be with.

I hope you forgive me for all the mistakes I've done and hurt brought upon you. I truly loved you and the only reason I decided to make the call was because the vet said that you were undergoing a lot of pain and that the injection would end all you pain and you would would not feel a thing other than falling into a deep sleep.

Rest In Peace my love, for you'll always be in my heart. We'll meet again soon, in the future.

Weirdly Fun

I've been travelling for slightly over a week now. And before coming over, I decided to not bring along my laptop and mobile phone. But really, who can live without a mobile nowadays, so I bent the rules slightly and decided to bring my personal mobile instead where I have very limited contacts there.

Many things have happened over the last week, much to not as planned but mostly turned out fine. Living  without being connected to the internet almost 24/7 felt really awkward initially, but I seem to be enjoying it more now. It actually feels better being disconnected rather than connected. When people can't really reach you, you have no idea what is happening and therefore not bothered as much. Life is much less stressful this way. I can sit in a cafe all morning enjoying my regular latte and watch the world pass by me and not feel a thing. I wished I had this much luxury back in Malaysia. I do miss the days while I was working in England, times were better and less stressful compared to working in Malaysia. I had a better work-life balance here compared to there.

Anyways, with the limited access I grant myself, I should make the fullest out of it to check my mails and let some people know my whereabouts just in case something goes wrong. I'm not going to rant much as I want to go out shortly. I've mat many friends over the week and bumped into someone I least expected to. It was some nice time spent together and I for sure have a clearer mind now. I've got to get going as I've got a dinner appointment with my brother in London for some Caribbean food and maybe some drinks thereafter . I'm really enjoying the limited internet access that I currently have and I think I should try to practise the same once back. 

On a totally different note, Apple suck. I've been using my brother's lappy to get on the internet and he has a MacBook Pro and I so don't like it. I don't find it to be user friendly at all. I still like my conventional lappy. 

It Had To

It all was going well, from Friday evening right up to Saturday evening. The flight was good, minus MAS which I had to take for my Penang - Kuala Lumpur sector, the flight attendants on Vietnam Airlines were just so cute; it was a treat to the eyes all night long. And they were pretty friendly too, chatted a couple and got their contact numbers..lolz. I was lucky I had a row all by myself, so I managed to get some sleep on board and woke up not so tired.

After clearing immigration and getting out, my ride was already waiting for me. Damn nice! 

Got in, called my brother and told him to catch up for lunch and started to find my way out of Gatwick. This was my first time landing in that airport as Heathrow is the usual and I did not know the roads well. Took me a while to figure my way out and I had to find a gas station to pump diesel. I've to constantly remind myself now that I need to pump diesel and petrol every time as I'm so used to pumping petrol for my Suzi back home.

Saturday was turning out well, had lunch in Bluewater, did some shopping and my bank was calling me like every ten minutes to confirm the transaction. Was there for quite some time, until at night actually hen I told my brother that I was going to London to club and that I'll see him on Sunday morning when he broke the news to me that it was going to snow that night. Now, not having driven in the snowy weather for long, I didn't want to take the risk plus the rear wheels on my ride didn't look as promising. 

Instead,I went back to my brothers place and we went to a local pub there and had a couple of drinks. It started snowing soon and I was beginning to feel bored so we decided to call in. Damn!

Sunday was a nice that to the eyes as it snowed like about six inches thick the night before. The morning called for some hot coffee and snow ball fight. I still act like a kid when it snows..hahaha.

Spent the rest of Sunday afternoon shopping,again, and more drinks at night.

I just woke up now; had to check my mail as I'm expecting some important emails, decided to rant for a bit; missing mOnkeybOy for all the nonsense we talk. I'm going out now and picking myself a Pommie. Tomorrow calls for Lake District. It's going to be fun!

The Toughest Call

I've got everything sorted out for my short trip. I made to make sure all the necessary arrangements were made, especially with the security company and making sure my alarm works, properly linked to my phone, and my friend who lives a couple of blocks away. 

This is Malaysia for you, the amount of break-ins to just so fucking high that I'm beginning to miss my days in Brunei where I used to just not bother locking my house doors. Yet the police claim that the crime rate is on a decline. I mean who are they fooling?

Anyways, I was having dinner with a couple of my friends earlier and one of them asked me if I've got everything sorted in such short time. To which I answered yes, I've most things done, I just pend packing my bags later in the evening and changing some cash in case of an emergency. Then she popped the most important question: have you informed your wife that you'd be away? And I was like Fuck! I totally forgot to inform him about it. It was such a last minute decision that I had to sort out many things before I leave.

I'm now thinking on how to break the news to him. Things could really get ugly with him especially since I now recall that he did tell me that he wanted to come over and spend some time since it's a long weekend and his birthday is around the corner too. I'm so screwed. I need to tell him this, but I just do not know how to break the news to him. To make things worse, he did tell me that he wanted to spend his birthday with me this year and asked me to throw him a party. 

I totally forgot about that and also that we were supposed to go for a trip after his birthday. I am now not going to be able to do all this. And worse, I've to tell this to him knowing how sensitive he becomes. 

Aaargh crap!

I'm going to have a smoke, muster some courage and give him a call. I hope he doesn't answer it though. It'll sure be a lot easier to just drop a text instead. But that would also be inviting trouble as there will sure be misunderstanding. I need to get this done and over with, else it'll haunt me :(

London - Here I Come!

Decision made, tickets bought, leave applied, money to be changed, bags to pack and the countdown shall begin!

So yea, I made up my mind last night while I was tossing and turning in bed. For some reason I couldn't sleep, I guess its the freaking heat. Woke up at four, checked for tickets online, tried to get the best connecting flights and last minute deals. I should so not make travel plans at the eleventh hours. Tickets cost a bomb!

I'm flying off this Friday evening for the good entire February. I can't wait to runaway from everything and everyone here. I'm just so tired of fixing things on a daily basis and reporting to a manager who has the attention span of less than a five year old.

The weather in the UK looks welcoming with very low temperatures forecasted with a possible snow. Like how cool would that be? Snow on the day I land. It would be a nice payback for all the crappy Christmas I spent there without any snow. I'm only thinking of the thermal shock that I'm going to subject myself to; I guess it'll be a couple of days of frozen nipples. I'm also looking forward to Costa's coffee, I could finally get off Starbucks and Coffee Bean.

The sight of Bond St is already appearing in my eyes, the one street that makes me a happy boy but my wallet to cry. Harrods is so inviting as well. 

Aaargh! The temptations of retail therapy. Boy, am I gonna come back broke. And I love the local pubs too, some with their own brewery. Gosh, I'm beginning to drool already.

I'm planning for a road trip either with my brother or my friends, depends who is willing to go crazy with me. I just hope that the weather doesn't get fucked up too bad. I could still tolerate until -5, but not any lower. Since I do intend to go to Lake District  and Snowdonia national park in Northern Wales as well, what better way to move around then to splash some good dosh on a nice ride. This is what I've arranged for as my ride while I'm there and I so can't wait to get my hands behind the wheels...Woohoo!

On the other hand, despite all the excitement of going over and spending time with my brother and friends, a part of me does feel a little unhappy. 

This was the last place Jace and I spent Christmas back in 2009 together and it was the last time I met him as well. I just hope that old memories don't surface as it would not be pleasant to deal with and I don't want to think of him or the good times we had together. All the physical evidence have been destroyed but the thoughts still linger...