Routine Change

It's been so long since I made time to rant; been keeping everything to myself with my boy occasionally listening me rant. Thankfully he hasn't grown tired of it.

I've decided to stop taking shit from idiots thus quitting my job to fully concentrate on my studies for now. It is quite a decision but enough is enough working with idiots and I want some time for myself and my boy. It's been a month plus since we met and I miss him very much.

I'm officially jobless from today and when I woke up this morning, it just felt so weird as for once, I did not have to rush for work - a change in routine after such long time. I'll need to adjust to this new routine of mine of becoming more anti social as I'd be pretty much working from home most of the time writing my dissertation.

Prolly this would be a good time to do some reflection along the way and go back to some charity. I'm thinking of spending more time at SPCA and getting back to meditating as I miss doing it. Reactivating my gym membership would be a good idea too as I have the time to squeeze in for a work out during the off peak hours where people are only more interested in being seen and showing off. 

But first, time to visit my boy. Got to pack my bag, change some money and fly a thousand miles to be with him.

'Til The End of Time

My Snoopster passed on this afternoon by the gate of the house. It was just not right seeing him lying there by the gate where he'd normally be sitting excitedly barking away knowing that I'm around. For once, I saw my dog lay motionless. I just did not know how to react and I still can't that he is no more with me. I'm trying very hard to convince myself that he is in a better place, but it is just not working.

I have been crying non-stop all evening and I just don't know how to express myself. I can't even bring myself to pour out here as my eyes are all teary and my keypad is soaking up the tears from my eyes.

All I want him to know is that there is no one that will ever replace him and I will live with our memories together. I will cherish all the happy times and never forget how he was always there to greet me every morning with a healthy coat of saliva, how he used to force me to take him for his car rides and his walks.

Snoopster, you may have left me physically today marking a black spot in me, but I know that you'll always be by my side with me in everything I do, like how you always have been.

I will always love you.

'Til we meet again....

Counting Down

Two more days - I just need to survive this two days and then I get the break, the break away from the manager from hell. The thought of no need to see her face or listen to her harp is just so luxurious right now.

I am really tired of her being a bitch and I don't know how much longer I can have the energy to put up with her. What really bamboozles me is that why did she just change suddenly. She was bearable as a manager and much better than my previous one though not the best I've worked with. But right now, she is being a real pain in the @$$.

I'm so looking forward for the long weekend where I'm just going to lock myself at home and catch up with all my TV shows that I've been missing. It'll also be a good time to clean the house since the BF would be coming down. 

I still have not thought of what or how to celebrate Valentine's day with him and I am just hoping now that my manager wouldn't be the constipated bitch she is then. Only time will tell. Sigh...

Serial Killer Akin

A friend just highlighted to me earlier on what I've missed that happened somewhat a week ago. As I was hearing him tell me what happened from over the end of the line, I could not help control my tears from clouding my eyes, eventually forming a trail down the cheeks.

I still find it hard to believe that anyone could get so low and do such an inhumane thing. What the fuck did those poor innocent elephants do that they deserved such faith. 

This is just unacceptable and worse, it happened in a forest reserve. What the fuck was the forestry department doing and how did it happen in the first place. A lot of things just don't make any sense. There are so many questions lingering in my head right now.

I sure would like to see how the investigations unfold, but I don't have much hope on anything especially since it happened in this forsaken country. 

The bastards who are responsible for this tragedy as as evil as serial killers and ought to be stoned to death if not sent to the gallows. It is very saddening that animals in this country do not get any kind of protection and people responsible for causing them pain and agony most often walk away with no punishment.

source: thestar online

The above image is just so saddening - its equivalent to having a child left next to his dead mother. I am just so disturbed right now.

The next time anyone walks up to me and says that I'm sick because I'm gay, I for sure am going to tell them gay I may be, but I don't murder which is much better. 

Time to adopt an elephant; it'll be my second adoption after the tiger I have living somewhere in India, if not mistaken. 

Dinner with Dad

Dad called the other day when I was in Indonesia and I told him that I wasn't free and would get in touch with him once I'm available later. 

We went out for dinner earlier and the conversation wasn't much different from the norm. He would normally go on to ask how was work, studies and if I'm seeing anyone before trying to talk me into accepting his 'gift'. 

However, there was a slight change from the well prepared answers of mine since he did not try to even talk anything about the property.

As we were dining and talking he showed me the key to a new set of wheels. As I'm usually deliberately late for my meetings with him, I almost instantly knew what make and model it was since there was once parked right in front of the restaurant. It was drooling point since I've at one point thought of getting it, but that would have meant a major lifestyle change which is not really worth it, and silently hoping that he'll say that its for me. HAH!

Pretending to be stupid, this is how I made a fool out of myself in front of him

what did you get?

i know you saw it as you entered like how i know you've been frequenting to Jakarta off late. when would you start telling me what is really going on with you?

what do you mean?

why didn't you just tell me you're seeing someone there instead of brushing it off as a business trip.

are you stalking me?

you're eyes tell that you're happy; something that i've not noticed in you for long

you're being silly now. nothing of such, stop thinking too much

if that's the case, then i'd just keep the tt to myself

...

it was meant for you since you finally met someone that you really like a lot and are being so committed and i thought it called for a gift of growing up, but since there isn't anyone special in the equation, i'd just spin it around myself.

What the fuck did I do, I just screwed my chance of having a car given to me and it was a spanking brand new unit, I think.

Ah well, I still manage to keep up to my stand of not accepting anything from anyone. 

I'm still wondering though how did he manage to get the inside scoop about me frequenting to Indonesia and what do I do there. It has to either be my grandmother or brother. 

But I'm happy nonetheless that he has no issues when I showed him the picture of who is guilty behind the happy eyes, if they are any happy to begin with.

Missing Winter

I've since come to realize that I'm only finding time like once a month to visit my space. I neither have the time nor the energy to rant the rest of the time. A crazy workload coupled with reporting to a bitch who always wants to win without knowing how to say no or having a plan to be constantly on the top is taxing by itself, but it is still better than reporting to a ball-ess prick like in my previous job.

Reporting to a bitch aside, the weather is driving me crazy as well. It's just so fucking warm. And to make things worse, the traffic which is so constipated almost daily is just a driver to the point of insanity. Hiding away in an air-conditioned room all day isn't much help as the heat and the glare from the windows still make know of its presence. 

I've got a dinner invite tonight, but the thought of going out in such weather is just bringing shivers to my spine. I'm just feeling so lazy to even go for my evening jog under this crazy weather though there would be much retreat to the eyes.

Maybe I should just plan for this 14th as he is coming down then because he wants to spend Valentines day together. It's quite a task for someone like me to think of anything as I don't normally heed for such days brushing them off as overly commercialized. 

Time for a dip in the pool and decide if I should talk him out though I want him around or think of something. Please there be a pool boy....

Dry Spell

It's been a while since I've been able to constantly rant over here. Though I have many things that run through my head during the day to bitch about, but by the time its the end of it, I'm just too tired to turn on the laptop and rant my way through. At times, the thought just disappears, somewhere in the noodles.

Since I've been not very well off late and with the exams pressure, I somehow seem to have more time to dispose online and have been reading some of the blogs and forums that I follow, or rather used to follow. Its quite nice to see that how things have unveil for some while others still continue scrambling for answers. Then there are those who continue being who they are - hot air pockets, and a few snipers along the dotted boundary.

I on the other hand, have nothing in my mind these few days to rant about as nothing much has been happening around me, other than being constantly drugged up hoping to recover at the soonest. I hope that it'll all be gone soon as my last paper is in a couple of days and I can get back to my feet. 

Do like to get out and get him a little something for when I meet him later this month as I did not manage to get him anything either for Christmas.

Last night he told me that the personal trainer at his gym approached him and ask him to train under him for body toning. i'm not too sure what was the expected reaction from him telling me this, but I just told him to go for it; better if he could flirt with the trainer to get some free sessions instead. Not too sure what impression has been cast upon, but he told me the trainer is not his type. Hmmm.... damn the meds that's making me think stupid now.

Anyways, until I get my noodles shocked to ramble, I shall just take some time for an afternoon nap. The weather is just so freaking crazy hot. F!