Next Chapter

It's time to turn the last page to end the current chapter and start a new one. May the New Year be as colourful and eventful as the past and present ones.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Reflections

It's the time of the year when people start talking about the resolution they plan to embark upon the following year. Everyone you meet or talk to would not fail to pop the question at one point of the conversation. But for me, I don't set resolutions, I prefer reflecting the year at the end of it, see what I've done differently and what can I do differently for the next.

As far as 2011 gets in account, it has been a year with quite a few number of firsts for me. This year marks the first time I

• ever read a blog and started it myself
• traveled to a country I've never been before with a partner
• bothered to know who lives next to me
• did not get drunk in a club
• ever went grocery shopping
• woke up so early in the morning to be late
• did not do a domestic route with MH; been an AK boy
• learned the joys of cheating in a game of Monopoly
• spent so many days working in KL in a year (sucks)
• never got a parking ticket
• didn't play practical jokes on anyone I know

The year had also been pretty good mix of highs and lows. I took the biggest hit in November when I had a mini emotional break-down, traveled the least and spent Christmas in Malaysia after a decade. 

On the plus side, my collection of die-cast models grew very well which got good money flowing out, met quite a healthy number of interesting people with some really amazing conversations. In addition, I also went back to school this year after quite a long gap and that has been keeping my last quarter of this year really busy.

I also started reporting to a new manager who has challenged me to a game of chess and I did figure out the cancer cell at my workplace - time to get some chemo action. Job stability and satisfaction has been a roller-coaster ride all year long, so as the personal life. This year also called for a lot of movies in the cinema and many nights of drinks and laughter with close buddies.

The presence of my godson has given me a different perspective on many things in life while the mrs., well, is still the missus.

To sum, it's been an average year with its equally share of sunny and rainy days. One of the things that I'm most pleased is that I fell sick only twice throughout the year and I got back being healthy and my stamina has increased very well for someone who has neglected his health and smokes quite a fair bit.

I wish for better times ahead next year.

Zombified??

I'm not sure why, but since the run - up to Christmas I've been feeling this way. I initially thought it was due to the exams coming soon, but I'm beginning to doubt it now. My finals is next week and I still can't sit down to study, though being on a study break.

I just don't have the spirit in me to get anything done. I'm having the couldn't careless and couldn't be bothered attitude. The only thing that I ever want to do now is shop for my models, and I've been spending a lot of time on Ebay, buying and bidding for stuff.

When would I get out of this phase? I need to get focused for my finals.

On another note, I've decided to look for a new job  as I don't want to waste my time in my current place. But, I wont leave without biting! At least that part of me has not disappeared - what a relief.

Christmas Missings

Christmas this year didn't seem to get much of my attention - I don't know why. As far as my memory serves, it was the time of the year where I'd be looking forward to. I really have no idea what crawled into me this year that I've just lost the spark in me to celebrate Christmas.

The things I did NOT do this Christmas:

1. setup my Christmas Tree
2. buy any gifts for anyone I know that has either stopped breathing or still is
3. bother wishing anyone except for a very few limited people that I felt it'll be rude to not wish at all
4. have any mince pies
5. have even a single serving of eggnog
6. catch up with close ones over hot chocolate and marshmallows
7. do my annual charity contribution
8. go on a holiday
9. have Jace by my side

This is certainly going to be one Christmas that I'd want to forget over time, sooner rather than later. But despite all the quietness, I did have a very nice Christmas eve dinner with some very close knits and the roasted turkey was, well, turkeylicious, as we unanimously decided on it. I also had a great time with two of my best friends over dinner last night. Followed by a nice chocolate brownie which I dug into like a pig and my favorite German beer accompanied by an interesting band. 

It was generally a good evening until I bumped into another friend that I recently got to know from uni later that evening and she told me that her boyfriend broke-up with her on Christmas day. 

What kind of a person would do that? But I did see the breaking up coming soon as she has somewhat shared some stories with me off late.

Anyways, I hope next year would be a better time for me and I don't feel so passion or even soulless for Christmas. 

Babi Quota - Checked

Today marked my last working day for the year. I'm so happy about it as I don't have to think about work until the next year.

Today also marked the beginning of all my Christmas parties and get together until New Year. It is going to ten fun filled nights with close friends and people that I care about.

On a lesser of a happy note, my office admin told me today that she is tendering her resignation letter and it will also be her last day in the office though next Friday would be her last official working day. This news came about a bit sad as I would be going to an office next year with one lesser person. However, I am still happy for her as she is progressing in her career and the organization she is joining is quite a reputable one.

In addition, I found out who the cancer cell in the office is. This is the culprit that been causing all the spats between my manager and I. Now that I know who it is, it's time for me to form my alliance and outs it from the office. There is no room for parasites, especially when you're in a remote office. Dude, you messed up the wrong person. I'll crush you soon. You'd be tasting your own medicine, but double the dosage only - no biggie!

Anyways, since it's Christmas time, I will choose to not forgive you since I've not been all that good this year and I'm sure I'm not on Santa's list for receiving any pressies. Plus, I did buy myself some over the last few day through ebay and they are already beginning to arrive.

While being on the not very pleasant stories note, I won't be going over to my brother's because I couldn't get a ticket. There was only one available with Singapore Airlines and it was their suits. Would certainly be nice to fly it, but I can't just afford it at this point of time as I've spent too much money recently - darn!

In any event, as today marked the first of all events for the holiday season, more like study season for me, but heck; my friends and I went for out for dinner. Little did we realize that each and everyone of us ordered a pork dish and I had a whole knuckle for myself. I felt like a pig eating it. It was so huge. But the crispy skin and tender meat which was just mouth watering went well with the beer I had . I'm still so filled up from dinner now. The size of the knuckle and the amout of meat on it allowed me to fulfill my annual babi quota!

Season's Greetings everyone. Have a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!! Happy holidays.

Fuck Relationships!

Getting into a relationship is nothing but preparing yourself for a heartbreak! 

It's just another piece of shit that would left you wet and cold under the rain at a point of time without fail

My brother called me this afternoon. From the tone of his voice, I knew that he wasn't well. And when I asked him if he was okay, he just said that he was down with a cold - bugger! must have been playing in the snow. He was anything but okay, from the voice you could have easily figured that he had been awake for long hours and prolly shedding a tear or two. 

I've not spoken to him for long over the phone. We do communicate and keep in touch, but it's limited to IM, Whatsapp and also the occasional test messages or even emails. But today, he gave me a call instead. The last I spoke to him was after my fallout with my mother last year and I knew since that things would be different between us as we had very different views about the whole situation. But today, I got my brother back. Though not the way I wanted it, but it was nice of him to call and talk, like how things used to be before the whole fiasco with my mother.

After some pep talk and sorting out what was needed, he just started opening up. He had known his girlfriend for seventeen fucking years now and they have been going out for almost fifteen years. They have been in fact living together for about ten years.Over time, like in any other relationship, there had been up and downs but things were always worked out in a civilized manner. Back in 2007, when I was backpacking Western Europe and had England as my final league to spend time with them before returning to Malaysia, I found out that she was cheating on him. I did try to let him know about it, but he refused to hear anything that I had to say. It went to a stage where i told him that she was in only for his money and nothing else, but my brother just wouldn't listen and things got ugly between us for a while. And since I did not want to lose him as a brother, I did apologize though it wasn't a sincere one.

Anyways, when he called me earlier, he told me that she has told him that there isn't anything left between them anymore and she moved out. She is now seeing  a 25 year old guy, someone who is approximately 10 years younger then her. I know the whole age is a number crap, but seriously, how the fuck is this going to work? I knew what I was thinking about daily when I was 25.

Consoling my brother is one thing, though the roots is so deep, but things could be worked out. The bigger challenge I have now is he will tell this to my mother. And she would take this over with her boyfriend (maybe husband now, I do not know) and he is the culprit for the whole thing. I know this for a fact, but I can't make my brother see things from my point of view. Our age gap is too far apart and we view things differently.

Thankfully I'm on leave next week. I now need to try to get tickets and go spend Christmas with him. He doesn't deserve to be alone. Not at this time of the year. I hope  my winter clothes still fit and there are tickets available though it's going to be sky high.

Broke Dick

When I woke up yesterday and felt a tingle down my throat, I knew the worst is yet to come. By evening, it was beginning to show the common symptoms. And by the time it was for the vampires to come out and play, I was already coughing like my lungs were going to come out and the fever kicked in.

Being stubborn and not wanting to be a pill popper as I usually do, I put up a brave front and was enduring the crap that was written by some of my groupies for my term paper which was due this evening. Reading whatever written with all the wrong citations, I was just getting worse by the minute. Soon, the words on my faithful lappy screen were beginning to do the Salsa if not Tango.

I was editing and compiling all the individual contributions which were utterly useless until one of my friends decided to IM me and ask what the fuck I was doing being awake at post three in the morning. He then had to chat me up and make an offer to cam whore of by which it was quite difficult to turn down the offer. Eagerly, like a excited puppy, quickly was trying to shut down everything and sign into my Skype account when I could not recall the damn password. What the fuck!

After a while of trying very hard to recall the password which wasn't easy consider most of the blood was flowing downstream, I just reset my password and got signed in to being a whore. Gosh, I should really stop being such a horny bastard.

I finally hit the bed around five in the morning only to wake up again at around seven as I had an interview lined up this morning. And when I was finally managed to wake up, I was down. I'm now coughing like there isn't a tomorrow and the intermittent fever is making things worse. Fuck, the whole body is aching like I've just gotten bashed up.

I went to the doctors office later in the afternoon after my interview only to be told by the freaking doctor that I need a whole array of colorful pills to pop but I do not require an MC since I'm not sick. Like seriously, what the fuck is that?!

It's less than a week to Christmas now. Having my exams just the week after and not making any holiday plans is bad enough, but to put up with this cough and fever; it just isn't what I signed up for. I hope to get better by Friday as that's when all the dinners and parties begin. Not to forget that I've to be studying too and this Friday would officially be the last working day for the year. Woohoo!!

But for now, It's time to rattle up like an empty bottle and hopefully I'll be off the hook tomorrow.

P/S: broke dick stands for an injured soldier, according to my Marine friend. :)

Managing Expectations

Singapore Airlines (SQ), I've to say, is the master in class to manage its passengers expectations. You would not really notice this if it's the coach seat you're travelling on, but once you have either a business or first class ticket on hand, it's a different story all together. They actually start pampering you right before you fly and it never fails to amaze me how the steward(ess) manages to remember you by the first name when you're seating in front. They keep their competitors at bay and it's quite a safe bet to say that no other airline comes close in regards to this. Even Emirates, Qatar, Qantas and Cathay, including Thai have not lived up to the expectations after being spoilt by SQ. Let's not even bother with Malaysian Airlines or British Airways for that matter. It's a well played psychological game that SQ has against their competitors; they just set the bar so high that others never fail to just pass underneath it without much issues. And this is solely because of how they manage the expectations of their passengers.

And, managing expectations is exactly what I tried doing with my finance lecturer. I was chatting with him once after class before my mid-term test, while on the way from the lecture hall to the car park. We were just touching base on many issues, and like most other people, he too had the same impression that I'm either not local or just spent too much time abroad. And, he thought that I just graduated like a year or two ago. Damn! I should really be grateful to my natural younger looking me..LOLz. 

Anyways, the one thing that I wanted to make clear was that I'm not from an accounting or finance background, since there are cattle loads of them in my class and that I needed him to get a little more thorough whilst explaining especially when using terms that even those who design space shuttles would not have heard off.

That went on well, well until at least last night. The mid term test results were out while I was wasting my time in KL on a week long business trip. He did email the results out prior to sharing them with the class for verification which I missed. During this time, a course-mate helped check my marks on behalf and this is what led to last nights conversation. My course-mate told me that I got a different mark from what I was emailed. So, I went up to him wanting to verify to or rather what is the actual score that I obtained. Little did I know, there were quite a number of people behind me and when I was talking to him about my marks, he went on like you got 80, you're the second highest in the class and there was one other girl that got a 85, I'm very sure about it. Are you sure you're not from an accounting background? 

Immediately, I heard people bitching about it behind, one went to lament on me wanting to show off my marks, hence asking him if I could just verify. Like WTF people, go get a life. 

If anything, I think there is a mistake in him marking my paper cause I don't think I deserve to pass the paper. Those who are close knows how unprepared I was and how happy were the butterflies in my tummy that day.

In any event, my lecturer now has high expectations from me for his paper. This is so not good for me cause I'm really struggling, not knowing half of the things that is going on in class, coupled with the lack of hours to invest in studying, is just making matters worse. I submitted my term paper yesterday and I've got a case study due this Thursday, I very well know that the bar is set high and a lot of eyes will be upon me. I don't need this kind of stress.

Aaargh! I failed at managing expectations. I should have joined SQ and be part of their workforce to better learn this trait. 

It actually doesn't sound like a very bad idea, I could finally do my Singapore - New York on-board the A346 all business class plane an be pampered and treated like a prince at really discounted rates, if not free. LOLz

When Small Gets Large

Most of the people who meet me says that I desperately need more mass. Me on the other hand, thinks otherwise as I like the slender figure. Plus with the fact that I'm a small eater, I have successfully maintained my rather small built with the few exceptional cases of adding some holiday weight.  

Over the last couple of months, I have been very busy with work and juggling studying has taken up most of my lunch time. I could safely say that I only have lunch twice a week on average while breakfast is mostly limited to coffee over the counter. Left with only one meal a day which most often than not is salad, I've not realized how much this has affected me. Plus, with the regular jogs and not so regular working out, I'm burning most of the left over fat in me leaving just the leaner me behind...damn, I should be looking younger sooner.

I've come to realize off late that most of my pants were beginning to feel a little loose and some of the shirts weren't falling nicely anymore. I wasn't giving much attention to it, thinking its time to go shopping once more as the clothes are beginning to age. This morning however, while I was having breakfast with my uncle (one of those extremely rare and awkward occasions), he mentioned that my shirt looked extremely big for me and that it looked ugly. Sad, and knowing how vain I could be at times, I quickly hopped away to find me a mirror large enough to check me out and yes, I've shrunk! Unsatisfied, I went finding for a weighing scale to hop on it and I'm like fifty kilograms!

Buying new clothes is not a bad thing, but when you're already wearing S and it's too big, whats next? I was talking to a friend and he told me to check on the slim fit, body clinging cuts so I could fit the nicely, but I hate those - it's so yucky and looks a tad too feminine, in my opinion. But sigh, I guess I have not much of a choice; its either that or trying out kid sizes.

AV

Exchanging hard disk content is really a norm among my friends and I. We always exchange content whenever we meet up and someone has something new or thinks it's worth to share which is normally a monthly routine. Me being me, I normally end just being the collector or the mediator as I hardly download media files, minus the few rare occasion of streaming movies or series online to watch when I can find the spare time. Most often than not, the movies or series are always caught up while spending a lazy weekend afternoon at a friend's for a get together.

Anyways, one of my friends shared a whole folder of files with me quite recently and since I've been really busy, I did not even take notice of the content of the file. Whenever he asked me if I'd had a look at the content, my answer would be nope, haven't had a chance. This went on for a while and I guess my friend got tired of asking me as well and the matter was left to rest after a while.

Last night, after coming back from dinner, I was messing around with my lappy with it being connected to my LCD as an extended the screen to the full view of anyone present then. When looking around, I found a rather unusual folder on my desktop which I hardly access to and when I got into the folder, there was a long list of media files with rather common titles except for one - AV.

Curious, I clicked into that folder and found myself having a library load of porn. There was at least a hundred different files sitting in that folder which I had no idea off. I had so many times traveled with my lappy passing through customs and what not and thankfully I was never been suspected for anything and my hard disk content being scanned for. Imagine the shit that I would have been subjected to for owning porn in this forsaken country.

Since the discovery happened while my idiotic friend, the mrs, was around, there was another series of drama going on between me and him

pervert!

what the fuck?!

you've got porn on your hard drive

so? besides i never knew...

that's gross!

explain..like you never watch.

i don't

liar!

i don't watch porn in front of others

it isn't the point we are talking about now. you called me a perv coz i had files. i am not watching them right now.

still it's gross and sick

fuck off! i knew what you had on your lappy right through uni and, remember the projectile lessons and the stains on the wall?? ..we knew what was going on in the room dude! hahahaha...anyways, if u want them, pass me your hard disk, i'll transfer.

don't have it with me now...

looks who's the perv now - perv!

So, there we go, I had a whole stash of porn with me and never knew until last night. Lucky, never got busted before, else it would have been so sickening to deal with the authorities.

And, I always prefer making porn than watching them!

Weekend - Stay Away!

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm not looking forward for the weekend :(

I've got two term papers that I need to work on which is due for the week, another presentation which needs to be set for the week after, my finals are in lesser than a month and work is piling up. I also have a few errants that I've got to run by - the price to pay for not being around for more than a week plus, my house looks like a pig's sty. In addition, the Mrs is coming down this weekend.

He appeared on MSN for a while last night, and this is what happened between him and me then

hey

hey..ssup?

i'm craving for oyster omelette

nice to have them with booze

so, make sure we go to such places

ok..what else u craving for dear?

me cumming in your mouth

n?

it will be nice if you can take 'em all

bring it on bitch..see if you can handle :P

anyways, we go to pg if like that

the oyster omlette in kimberly st

or the one in sunshine sq market is nice too

oyters in pg??

oh, i never knew that

sunshine sq near bayan lepas??

yea..in the market

hey, no

i'm stopping in butterworth

ello...ur coming up to pg

same state!

ok, if you put it that way (damn..i so feel like slapping him d)

besides, it's only a bridge away

:D

and here is what I've been waiting for a long time

n i get to drive u across the bridge, witnessing the sunset....how romantic

screw you!

It's just so nice to screw a straight boy who is confused, or almost confused himself...

One more day, before this continues non stop until Monday. 

Satan, I need strength!

Personal Hygiene

I was in KL the weekend before and last week for work; decided to go out and have ONS just for a change from the routine of not doing that since I last to a pledge to no more ONS with a friend who was worried of me contracting some kind of STD. After three nights in a row, I told myself that I've to call it quits since I was beginning to feel disgusted.

And, I did not stop because of anything other than I got sick of the lack of personal hygiene. Well, most local guys in this land are for some reason uncut, me included. But that does not give you the reason to not keep clean. For heaven's sake, if you have a bloody foreskin, clean it! 

It's not a fucking difficult thing to do, just retract your foreskin while under the shower and clean the smegma off. Like how much a chore is that? I know that it keeps the glands moist and facilitates sexual intercourse by acting as a lubricant, but hey, it isn't nice if it's left to accumulate under the foreskin and it freaking smells! It is definitely not a plus a point to have it under your foreskin. 

Learn from the Jews, if you're to lazy to clean it on a daily basis; go get circumcised! 

And yea, a trimmed bush is so much more neater than a full one, and it makes your endowment to look bigger. 

Keep the lawn mowed mister! 

Pubic hair in your mouth during a blowjob is a big NO NO, not at least for me...

Tuesday Gone Wrong

I so feel like I woke up from the wrong side of the bed. 

As I was brushing my teeth this morning I realized that I had forgotten to get replacement cartridges for my razor. So, I went to work with a stubby face - scratched all day long like a monkey due to the itch. 

Then, as i drove out of my apartment's service road joining onto the main road, I did not notice that some MOFO left some debris at the corner of the road which painfully hurt my Suzi. She has a dent on her now, just below the front passenger door. I feel so painful!

I accidentally dropped my lighter while walking to the coffee shop from the car park for lunch with one of my friends. And when I bend down to pick it up, my shades fell off - only god knows how the fuck that happened! And now, my Ray-Ban has a tiny little scratch!

For some weird reason, I could not connect to my VPN in the office after lunch. This made me paralyze as I could not access my emails on my lappy, thus making work which is already a challenge by itself under normal circumstances an impossible mission to complete!

On my way back, while at the toll booth of the ever famous Penang bridge, I realized that I left my Touch'N'Go card at home; had to pay seven freaking ringgit to cross the bloody bridge which for some odd reason hasn't ceased collecting toll since it was built, being one of the most successful highways, or should I say blood sucking mechanism of the government to feed their cronies. I really wonder where does all the money from the collection go to!

Since I wasn't around pretty much for the whole of last week, I decided to drop by my grandmother's place to take a peak on her. More like assessing the situation since the maid is almost a month old now, and that, was by far the biggest mistake of the day! 

If only had I decided not to visit her today, I would have also saved seven bucks! 

The choices we make on a bad day....

My manager would be around tomorrow onwards for the rest of the week!

And oh, the Mrs called this afternoon to confirm that he'd be around for the weekend. I've got due dates and pre-planned programs for the weekend. It all needs rescheduling now!  Aargh!!!!

After A Decade

Both my childhood friend and an ex-colleague called me in like forty seconds interval asking me where would I be freezing or basking my butt off this Christmas. It is normally the time of the year when I would get my leave approved in my previous company and also the best chance for all my mates to meet before we started working thus making holiday plans sound like a feasible idea though you have to bare with overpriced air fares, hotel rooms and families flying like herds of cattle heading home for the holidays.

When both asked me where was my destination this year and I said none in particular, they were both shocked in disbelief that I would finally be around for Christmas after ten long years. One immediately went like eh, can you please go somewhere ah? If you're around, I'd lose the bet lah...I can sponsor you somewhere near as long as it isn't over the amount bet. And I was like ....kanasai you flers, bet on me to not be around. Dunno how to plan to make me stay, but instead bet that I'd be away!

As I was driving to class after work, I was just thinking of what I should be doing this Christmas and New Year stretch - nothing came to mind. I am just not in the mood. I turned down my friend who asked me to go shop for a tree together for my place and have it decorated, I politely declined the other for a Christmas eve dinner after getting to know that there is money on stake about my presence during the holiday season. For some odd reason, I just don't feel the holiday season coming and I did not even bother to apply for leave. I am going to work until the twenty third and back to the office on the twenty seventh. I find it hard to believe that it's me doing this since I'd normally start planning my holidays as early as June. 

So here it is, I will most likely be spending Christmas alone doing nothing other than studying for my exams which would be around the corner. And, I'm not even feeling a tad sad about it. 

Something is so not right with me. Where's the spirit??

Oh wait, I just remembered, the Mrs called the other day and made it very clear that we're going on a holiday then. No wonder I've lost the holiday spirit.

I should have a holiday plan now, should't I....

But then again, I can't be mean towards him. And, the place he wants to go would be a nice spot to ogle and treat my eyes..LOLz

Drawing Lines

Knowing when to shut up is important. This is more of a fact rather than an opinion, especially when you work in organizations that have people who bitch like there is no tomorrow. I remember reading a proverb somewhere a long time ago, speak when you're spoken to.

But where do you draw the line when it comes to someone close to you, who isn't in any way related to work? 

Recently, someone I know is going through some pretty tough times. Starting life in a new place is no easy task, it can really put a massive toll on you. Being away from people close to you, getting used to a whole new system, learning the culture and blending in, among others - is no easy task. And the magnitude amplifies when if you have a shaky relationship or things aren't going as planned. The emotional toll could just be so great that it could drive you to the point of insanity.

I see this person doing almost the same mistakes as I did, and it's very hard for me to keep my mouth shut as I'm person who speaks my mind out. It's just so difficult to know where to draw the line and keep things at peace. I've tried talking and sharing my opinion and experiences that came along from the decisions I took when I was in the similar situation. but this person fails to see my point of view. When I talk to this person, it is quite clear that the emotional stress is clouding the judgement capabilities.

Based on the current situation, I dare not advice further as it may damage the friendship we have.On the other hand, by keeping quiet I can, to a certain degree, anticipate what is going to happen next. Drawing the line in this case is very important, but where to draw the line is the question now. I so hate being in such situations. Aaargh!